Halloween is my favorite time of the year. I love coming up with creative costumes, decorating with fake spiderwebs and carving silly faces into pumpkins. It makes me feel like a kid again. But what I don’t love are horror movies.
I’ve never been a big fan of things jumping out at me whether in person or on a television screen. I like my little personal bubble to remain happy and startle-free at all times. That’s not to say, however, that I don’t want to partake in movie nights on Halloween with friends because I’m too scared to watch a movie that my or may not have some monster-serial killer-thing coming to get me. So I make a compromise, and you can too with these classic Halloween movies that everyone can enjoy.
Hocus Pocus (1993)
Watching this movie around Halloween is a staple. As children, we were terrified of Bette Midler, Sarah Jessica Parker and Kathy Najimy as the three sister-witches Hellbent on sucking the souls out of all the children of Salem just for eternal beauty. But we couldn’t stop watching. But just because we’re older now, it doesn’t mean we have to stop rooting for the idiot teenager who read from The Book, feel pity for poor, undead Billy and silently pine away for the adorable Binx (in human form, of course). Plus, we all know rocking out to Midler’s version of “I Put A Spell On You” will be the highlight of our evenings.
House on Haunted Hill (1959)
Most people have seen the 1999 remake of this classic horror film, but I think that the most enjoyment can come from watching the original. Millionaire Fredrick Loren (Vincent Price) invites five people to a party in honor of his fourth wife (yes, fourth) at a rented house, where he proceeds to offer $10,000 to everyone who manages to stay the night. What ensues over the next 75 minutes is what can only be described as 1950s movie magic. You might get a scare here or there, but only if you’re not laughing too hard at the old school special effects.
Alec Baldwin pre-Words With Friends, Geena Davis with hair bigger than the state of Texas and Michael Keaton in serious need of some dental work create the time-honored cast of Beetlejuice, a story about how not to live your afterlife. You’ll enjoy ghostly antics and giant sand worms all at once when watching this movie, yet still get a little creeped out. And if you’re the type of person who enjoys freaking out a particularly superstitious friend (like me), then just whisper Beetlejuice three times in his or her ear after the movies over. That’s sure to get a fun reaction.
The Scary Movie Franchise (2000s)
From the creators of Scream comes the best movie-spoof franchise to ever grace movie screens everywhere. There are four whole movies of mind-numbingly idiotic jokes, and the best part is that most of them are based off of horror/thriller movies. Some of the spoofs include The Ring, The Village, and Saw among many others. If you’re looking for any sort of realism, however, you might just want to volunteer for trick-or-treat duty during the movie. Because reality definitely has no place in the Scary Movie franchise.