Why You Shouldn’t Date a Girl Who Reads

(Image Credit: Djoronimo)

(Image Credit: Djoronimo)

Everyone, ok mostly everyone, remembers the original “You Should Date a Girl Who Reads” by Rosemarie Urquico. It’s this great piece of writing that beautifully describes the characteristics of a girl who reads and how wonderful a life with her would be. I’m an avid reader, and like every other avid reader who read it, I was all like “YES, THIS IS ME, SOMEONE GETS IT! MEN OF THE WORLD COME HITHER AND BEHOLD THIS READING VIXEN!”

Yet as I’ve gotten a few years older and dozens upon dozens of copycat pieces have come out (You Should Date a Girl Who Runs, You Should Date a Girl Who Cooks, You Should Date a Girl Who Rides Horses, You Should Date a Girl Who Drinks Coffee, You Should Date a Girl Who Blinks, and on and on and on and on), I’ve come to realize that one habit really can’t tell you too much about a person as a whole. So just for kicks and giggles, let’s look at why you shouldn’t date a girl who reads, a girl like me.

Girls who read are too independent. They can entertain themselves far too easily. If you’re just chilling on a Saturday afternoon and she whips out a book to read while you play your video games or while you catch up on work or toss a football around with your buddy, it’ll be seriously annoying. It’ll probably freak you out that a “would you mind if I did this…” won’t be met with a pout or a thousand questions.

Girls who read are far too easy to shop for. Knowing that you’re guaranteed to grab a good gift will get old. Really, another book? It’s not asking you to dig deep enough or providing the fun risk factor of choosing something she’ll absolutely despise. Barnes and Noble is painful; it’s so time consuming trying to find a book in that damn place. You’d much rather go to the mall where there are dozens of stores and thousands upon thousands of options to choose from.

Girls who read have too much stuff to talk about. There’s nothing worse than a girl who can carry a conversation, am I right, or am I RIGHT? When someone enjoys reading and exposes themselves to hundreds of new ideas on a regular basis, that conversation is bound to get annoying. If you fear awkward silence, you definitely want to avoid someone who might bring up the latest interesting piece they’ve read. Girls not trying to gain a new perspective are always the easiest to get along with.

Girls who read have way too much chill. They can literally throw on a pair of yogas, brew a cup of coffee, and curl up with a book for hours. They can actually enable you when it comes to studying or catching up on work or your own reading. They won’t tell you you’re neglecting them or boring them on a rainy day off when you just feel like hanging out. The horror.

Girls who read get excited way too easily. A good book will put a smile on their face faster than a big night out ever could. They don’t constantly expect you to up the ante and that is so super boring. You want to always feel a bit stressed out when it comes to pleasing your girl- if you’re not, something’s wrong. They’re low maintenance and that can be kind of a deal buster.

Girls who read know any good character comes with flaws. We all know we don’t want someone who accepts us fully for who we are or understands that flaws are a part of a beautiful whole. We want them to fixate on the parts of us that maybe aren’t so perfect and not recognize the way in which our flaws help us to learn and grow. That’s getting way too close and who wants that.

Girls who read are too open minded. If a girl’s willing to jump from genre to genre, always trying something new, she’s definitely not set in her ways and why would anyone want to be with someone who’s willing to try new things or change it up every now and then. It’s the total opposite of stable. It’s much better to be with someone so set in their own ways that there will never be the risk of them encroaching upon your interests, or, even worse, compromising when things get taken to the next level. Compromise destroys most relationships, haven’t you heard?

Girls who read feel too much. They’re capable of sensing humor and irony. Words can cause them to smile or cry or feel angry, so in real life they’re just going to be an emotional overload.

They’ll take all they’ve learned from what they’ve read and bring it into the real world and that type of connection is far too much.

I could go on and on, but I think I’ve made my point. At all costs, avoid the girl who reads, and definitely, not even if you’re super tempted, don’t date her.

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