Game of Thrones: Season 3 Episode 305 ‘Kissed by Fire’ Recap

Game of Thrones: Season 3 Episode 5 "Kissed by Fire" Recap

Lena Headey as Cersei Lannister in GAME OF THRONES (Image Credit: HBO)

Prince Joffrey’s “dog” and the leader of the group of outlaws (the brotherhood), that kidnapped him, face off in epic sword fight that ends with the leader’s death and resurrection.  They then allow the “dog” to leave even though Arya wants blood.

Jon Snow and the wildings travel toward the wall following Jon’s inside information about the security of the wall including the one thousand men who reside in Castle Black guarding the wall.  Ygritte defends him when wilding leaders challenge his knowledge.  She then leads Jon into a cave and gets naked.  She easily persuades him to break his vows of the Night’s Watch and he immediately goes down on her – way to go Jon Snow!  I knew I liked him for a reason…Ygritte also seemed pleased.  I guess those two are bound for love.

Jaime Lannister and Brienne of Tarth are delivered to more Stark allies where the commanding officer informs Jaime of the recent events at King’s Landing.  Jaime’s right stump is rotting away but a medicine man, of sorts, works on cutting away the bad flesh and cauterizing the rest so it will heal.

Cersei approaches Lord Baelish about fleshing out the persuasion of the Tyrell’s son, so Baelish easily sets up a man to seduce him.

Tyrion and Grandma Tyrell meet to discuss financial matters in regard to the royal wedding, while Tyrion tries to talk her into reducing the cost of the of the wedding granny shows off her knowledge of their supply line and the amount of contributions her family has already made.  Eventually she submits and offers to pay for half the wedding but not before insulting Tyrion for not being as depraved as she had hoped.

Arya’s friend decides to stay on with the brotherhood as a smith.  Arya is very upset about it and tries to convince him to stay with her by offering to be his family.  He still denies her requests so she goes to speak with the brotherhood’s leader and shaman.  Apparently the leader has died five times and the shaman has brought him back to life every time.  Arya asks if they could bring her father back to life, they tell her it won’t work.  Too bad, we all wished Sean Bean would come back!

Robb Stark has dissention in his ranks and they kill two of Tywin’s nephews, young boys, for “vengeance” but Robb is pissed.  He sentences all the men who committed the treason to death but his mother, wife, and advisor tell him not to because they are certain he will lose allies over it.  Does he listen?  No, he beheads the leader of the rebellion personally.

Stannis meets with his wife, who apparently worships Gods who can use her as a vessel (sounds evil to me), and tries to confess his infidelity but she already knew.  Turns out the woman keeps her still-born baby boys in jars in her room – gross and super creepy!  His only child by his wife is a girl who has a deformed face while his son by the priestess is a dark shadow.  I don’t know what you all think but this guy needs to stop procreating.  Stannis tells his daughter that Davos is a traitor but the girl doesn’t believe him and instead visits the prisoner and brings him a book.  He confesses he doesn’t know how to read so the girl offers to teach him while he’s incarcerated.

Jaime and Brienne share a bathhouse moment together, I’m pretty sure he just wanted her to see his goods.  When Jaime starts needling Brienne for not getting him to King’s Landing in one piece, Brienne gets pissed and stands up buck naked in front of Jaime.  I’m pretty sure he was both caught off guard and titillated although he continues to wallow in self-pity.  Don’t fall for his lies and mental games Brienne!  He’s a sister screwer!

As for Khaleesi and her unsullied army, they march on toward the realm as Sir Friendzone and the new guy (Sir Barrister) get to know each other.  Khaleesi allows her troops to choose leaders and to rename themselves as they are now freemen but the leader chooses to keep his name (Grey Worm) because it is a lucky name since he had it when she set him free.

Robb Stark worries over his stance in the north since he lost troops after executing his traitors.  He knows that the Lannister’s could crush him in a day with where they stand now but he realizes that the Lannister’s weakest point is their home, Casterly Rock.  He decides to try to gain more allies with the family of the woman he was supposed to marry so they can storm the Lannister homeland.

Sansa looks forward to being matched with the Tyrell’s son, completely unknowing of his homosexuality.  Dumb girl.  Lord Baelish approaches Sansa about leaving with him and she quickly changes her mind, of course, because she thinks she is getting married.  Little does she know…the Lannister family discusses this poor girl’s life and her future without the Tyrell’s gay boy – instead Tywin commands that Tyrion marry Sansa and Cersei marry the Tyrell boy – all in the name of winning a war.  That scene was pretty hilarious – I felt bad for Tyrion but Cersei deserves her fate.  I can’t imagine being forced to marry a gay man or someone twenty years younger than me…gag.

Keep watching Game of Thrones Sundays on HBO and check back here for a recap and commentary – things are getting interesting!


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