After last episode I wasn’t sure I wanted to watch the finale, what other horrors would they subject us Stark fans too? The episode starts off with The Hound escaping Lord Frey’s castle with Arya who unfortunately sees her brother’s body being carried around with the dead wolf’s head attached.
Tyrion speaks with his new wife about being ostracized when he is called away to an emergency meeting with his father and the Lannister family. Joffrey is especially happy like a kid in a candy store, Tyrion assumes he killed a puppy that morning (ha!), instead he shares the news of Rob Stark and his mother. Joffrey decides he wants to feed Sansa some of the remains of the slaughter at his wedding but everyone refuses his hateful and disgusting request so he turns into a little king biatch and Tywin sends him away. Once everyone leaves except for Tyrion and Tywin – father and son have a frank conversation. Tywin demands Tyrion impregnate Sansa for the “good of the family.” When Tyrion goes to Sansa, she has already heard the news of her family’s fate and is distraught.
Bran, the big man, and the teen twins are still on the move toward the North. They stop for the night in another abandoned home and tell ghost stories. During the night, Bran is awoken by spirit noises but it turns out to be Sam and his girl with the baby. They have a brief conversation about the white walkers and the army of the dead, which poor Sam has witnessed, and ask for Sam’s help getting north of the wall. Sam does not accompany the teens but provides them with white walker weaponry that he used to kill a white walker in the woods.
Ramsey continues to torture Theon Greyjoy after removing his manhood, eating a pork sausage while making Greyjoy watch…gross. Greyjoy begs to be killed but Ramsey continues to break him mentally and beat him. At the Greyjoy’s palace, Lord Greyjoy receives a threatening message and a box with Theon’s favorite “toy” inside. Papa decides not to take any action but the fearless sister takes a fast ship and an army to save her brother.
Back at the House Baratheon, the Baratheon bastard is talked to by Davos who hopes to convince the boy that he could have a better life if he were to play along with his new role as a high-born. Davos visits the poor disfigured Baratheon daughter and tries to read all the messages sent to the house. He is reading the message sent by The Night’s Watch when he stops reading mid-message. Davos goes to speak with Stannis about the Stark family news and begs Stannis and the witch not to burn the bastard boy – he fails. Instead, Davos frees the boy from captivity hoping he’ll get away before he’s killed by Stannis and his witch. Stannis Baratheon condemns Davos to die for his crime but the witch speaks up for him once he shows them the message from The Night’s Watch about the white walkers and the army of the dead.
Back in King’s Landing, the eunuch offers Shae a bag of diamonds to leave King’s Landing so that she can start over with prestige and allow Tyrion to become a leader among the Lannister family. Shae doesn’t take the bag, instead she throws it back at him and states that Tyrion has to tell her to leave face to face if she is to go.
Tyrion is drunk per usual when he gets a visit from Cersei who starts to pound away the need for an heir. She swears it is the only thing that will make Sansa’s life more bearable with a baby to care for. She confides that even Joffrey was a joyful baby once.
When The Hound and Arya pass some soldiers carrying on about killing the Stark’s, Arya jumps off the horse and proceeds to kill the man gloating about his desecration of Rob’s body. Alright! Arya is finally living up to her potential.
Jon Snow is caught by Ygritte drinking water at a pond, he declares his love for her but she shoots him three times with her arrows anyway. When Sam and the girl reach Castle Black, they answer to the wise old man in charge of The Night’s Watch and they allow Gilly (the girl) and her son to stay for a bit while Sam sends all 44 of their ravens out that night with a message. Jon Snow makes it back to Castle Black with three arrows in him, barely alive, the watch members take him in to bring him back to health.
Jaime Lannister finally makes it back to King’s Landing where apparently no one realizes who he is other than his guard Brienne of Tarth. Who does he visit first? His lover and sister (vomit) – Cersei.
Finally, we see Khaleesi waiting on her newest freed people who call her “mother” after she announces their freedom if they wish it. Her power is growing! Next season – Khaleesi takes Westeros! I hope.
Major points of season three finale: Jaime is back with the Lannisters; Tyrion needs to procreate with Sansa, Khaleesi is by all accounts winning; Arya has a taste for blood; and everyone still hates Joffrey. Can’t wait for next season!!!!