Lessons I (Unintentionally) Learned from Disney Princesses

Disney Princesses (Image Credit: Candace Lindemann)
Disney Princesses (Image Credit: Candace Lindemann)

As a youngster, I recall demanding to wear a big frilly dress and a princess tiara anywhere I went. For my birthday, I wanted a pink unicorn to match my pink poofy dress and rhinestone diadem. Where did all of these silly obsessions and my fascination with all things princess stem from? From Disney movies of course! All little girls (and some little boys) grow up watching Disney movies religiously. The Disney princess stories are romanticized versions of falling in love and living happily ever after. Children (and sometimes adults) wind up dreamily following along as the princesses are swept off of their feet by a knight in shining armor and showered in the kind of wardrobe makeovers that would make a grown woman jealous. Each Disney classic also had a moral to go along with all the love and fashion goodness, and along with a taste for frill I have also picked up a few lessons from Disney films along the way.

In order to be considered a princess, you do not need a fancy crown or royal power… at least not at the start. In fact, all you have to do to begin your journey to princess-dom is sing! Sing when you are happy, sad, gloomy, or scared. As long as you sing your feelings out, your crown will find its way on your head. Sometimes, little furry creatures and animals will even join you in your number. Don’t worry about rabies, or the bird flu – none of that matters when you’re singing with the animals.

Speaking of animals, did you know that they could speak? Not only can they sing with us, but they can also communicate with us! Take Jasmine, for example,and her pet tiger (remember: wild animals are not dangerous to us as long as we sing with them) that understands her love problems. Than there is Ariel who takes advice from bossy Sebastian the crab. If you get into a tough situation, your animal friends will surely help you out. Whether it’s teaching you how to use utensils, or saving your butt while you are disguised as a man in the army, those little critters will always have your back.

Another very important lesson I learned is that there is an evil villain trying to hurt me at all times. Thank goodness I don’t have a stepmother, since they  are usually the ones that end up being the evil villains. If you have a stepmother, my best advice to you is to run into the woods and live in a cabin with seven small men, preferably midgets. Since I do not have a stepmother, I haven’t quite figured out who is trying to harm me yet, but there most certainly is someone plotting against me. When your villain is about to attack, your knight in shining armor (or loser in aluminum foil, whichever works for you) will come to your rescue (and the animals might help too). As we all know, every female needs a strong, muscular man to come to save her.

Princesses wear dresses all of the time; it is a must. Pants are appropriate only if you are disguised as a man in the army, though, large genie-like pants are acceptable if you are Jasmine. Otherwise, dresses are the way to go in order to be a princess.

So what’s the moral I’ve learned from my Disney Princess obsession? It’s that the only way to be a princess is to sing constantly, cohort with animals, look over your shoulder for the villain in waiting, and have a gallantly strapping young man to whisk you away towards happily ever while wearing a dress.

Upon learning these clearly relevant and factual lessons from Disney movies, I have altered my own life in order to become a princess. Though, I am not sure if it is working in my favor. My singing seems to send everyone running in the opposite direction and after much paranoid deliberation, I still have yet to locate my evil villain that wants to get rid of me. I have yet to find my devilishly handsome knight in shining armor, but I have begun speaking to animals, though they either run away from me, or look at me with dumbfounded confusion. Perhaps I misconstrued the lessons from my favorite Disney movies?

 

GUEST AUTHOR:
Nicole Weintraub
Nicole here, native New Yorker who has a secret passion for young adult literature, trashy romance novels, and anything mushy gushy. Uh oh… guess it’s not much of a secret anymore!
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3 thoughts on “Lessons I (Unintentionally) Learned from Disney Princesses

  1. Reblogged this on Christopher De Voss and commented:
    Hello Reblog Thursday. Oh, you Disney Princesses…you make every little girl want to be one of you and every little boy want to hook up with Jasmine. Snow White, you really need to work on the hairdo…perhaps something a little more with the times. I have a special place for Cinderella but I think Sleeping Beauty would be the best one to marry. You would have the most freedom to play video games, watch sports, and whatnot due to her chronic sleeping habits. I think Merida would be the worst due to her hair and hard to understand accent…and her love of haggis. Gross.

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