Girl Code is The View on steroids. Good steroids. The kind that you need to clear your sinuses during allergy season. Girl Code, like Abutirol, helps us see the world around us clearly…with an estrogen-centric perspective, of course. The definition of “girl code” according to Urban Dictionary is: “The code of guidelines that girls most obey in order not to get kicked out of the community.”
The show stemmed from MTV’s Guy Code, a reality show that focuses on the rules of being a man in terms of dealing with women, weight, work, and life in general. In my humble and feminine opinion, Girl Code surpasses anything that Guy Code has ever had to offer.
While there’s the occasional “girl code” mistruth slipped in for comedic purposes, most of the show correctly reflects what it’s like to be a young female at this point in history. Not all aspects of the show are necessarily wise…but they certainly are useful and relatable.
No time to catch the show? That’s okay. We’ve rounded up the 10 best lessons that Girl Code has to offer, thanks to their witty and lovably outspoken cast.
Choose your drink wisely.
Know the consequences when it comes to alcohol. According to Girl Code, wine is great at getting you drunk, while tequila excels in leaving you “drunk and pregnant.” Pick your poison, ladies.
Embrace your awkward phase.
Caterpillars get to hide their transformations in a concealed cocoon. Ours are on display in yearbooks and ancient Myspace photos. Girl code? Don’t erase it from history. They say: “If you weren’t ugly in middle school, I almost don’t trust you.”
No one cares about your diet.
But really. If people around you are enjoying their food, don’t bring them down! When your roommates order a large pizza pie and a six-pack, girl code says to “Just shut up, eat your lettuce, and be sad.”
Men are like bras…
Or at least, they should be. Anything (or anyone) that holds us must be “fun and supportive.” Lack of these characteristics, whether in your man or your bra, will leave you thoroughly disappointed.
Trick yourself thin.
If exercise is out of the question for your weight-loss plan, you can take a page out of Jared from Subway’s book and show the general public how huge your pants are. Girl code encourages buying jeans 10 sizes too big and photographing yourself stuffed into one pants leg. That way, the world can see how small you are in relation to very large clothes.
Prepare for your blind date adequately.
If your search history yields nothing about Facebook stalking this blind date of yours, you’ve got some issues to work out. Girl Code gives you full permission to perform a full-blown background check: “Google him until your fingers bleed”.
Don’t put on mascara in front of an attractive boy.
Have you ever noticed the face you make when applying mascara? It looks a bit like the Scream masks you see around Halloween, if you catch my drift. The main takeaway is to be aware of how you look when tending to your lashes. It’s just girl code.
Hair removal is an art.
If your waxer’s hair is out of whack, switch salons immediately. If she allows herself to appear in public looking like a hairy lunatic, she’s in the wrong profession. And she won’t care what you look like when you walk out of her place, either.
Know the enemy…and whether she should upgrade to “frenemy.”
Can you really hate someone to the point that their nice pool or hot brother loses value? You may think that it’s wrong to use people, but you don’t like this chick anyway, correct? The rules of girl code allow you to take advantage of people for their connections that directly benefit you. Hallelujah.
Mean girls are inescapable.
The best way to take on a mean girl is to remember everything you have that she lacks. She’s not perfect…after all, she is mean! (And Girl Code states that Beyonce is, indeed, the only perfect human being in existence.) The mean girl may not be flawed on the outside, but her insides are disgusting as anything…and, “there’s no plastic surgery for soul.”
Want more from the fabulous females of Girl Code? Well…their first season just ended. But filming of Season 2 is underway, so check back with MTV for the latest updates.
Until then… this is #GirlCode.