It’s not unusual for people to sit down and fantasize which celebrities they’d love to rub shoulders with. In fact, I think almost everyone has said, “I’d love to meet (blank)! They are so awesome!!” But for me, just meeting those people wasn’t good enough. I’ve taken it upon myself to create my perfect, way-more-awesome-than-yours, dream celebrity family. Right down to my aunts and uncles; that’s right, it’s plural.
Grandma and Grandpa: Betty White and Sean Connery.
I don’t think I need to explain my choices here. Betty White is the most adorable old lady I have ever had the pleasure of viewing on a television screen, and Sean Connery is one of, if not the most, badass man in Hollywood. To think that Rose Nylund and James Bond could spoil me at holidays and on special weekends when I got to visit them on their secluded ranch would just be the perfect life.
Mom and Dad: Jennifer Aniston and John Stamos.
I’m not a stranger to Friends or Full House. Granted, I know Rachel and Uncle Jesse were just characters they played, but if they could love me as a daughter just half as much as they loved their kids on those shows I’d be the happiest person alive. Even the most embarrassing moments they could put me through would be infinitely more awesome just knowing they were my parents. Even if they put napkins on their heads in the middle of a restaurant and pretended they were ghosts while one of my siblings sang the Ghostbusters theme song (true story). Even that would be perfect, because unlike my real parents, my celebrity dad was in a one-hit-wonder band called Jesse and The Rippers and has the voice of an angel.
Brother and Sister: Jennifer Lawrence and Peter Dinklage.
You can’t deny how incredibly perfect this would be. My thought process here is, what’s better than being just friends with JLaw and Peter Dinklage? Best friends. And what’s the most permanent form of best friendship you could have? Siblings. We wouldn’t even need to be siblings by blood; adopted would work too. I’d even be okay with half-siblings or stepsiblings if it meant I could recollect my childhood memories of playing hide and seek and family beach trips with Katniss and Tyrion.
Husband: Darren Criss.
Look, I’m not saying my current husband isn’t good enough for me – because he totally is. But, what I am saying is that if for some reason Darren Criss and I ended up married I wouldn’t be complaining. My only requirement for this incredibly handsome and hilarious man would be that he sang a song that explained his unconditional love for me every day – with “All of Me” by John Legend being my most requested.
Aunts and Uncles: Neil Patrick Harris & Zooey Deschanel, Ellen DeGeneres & Jimmy Fallon.
I can just imagine Thanksgiving dinner, sitting down with Neil Patrick Harris, Zooey Deschanel, Ellen DeGeneres and Jimmy Fallon. The amount of calories I’d burn just from laughing would allow me to consume an entire pecan pie on my own without guilt, and magically sculpt a six pack all in one sitting. Plus, it would mean I’d probably have some of the cutest nieces and nephews on the face of the planet – especially if Neil Patrick Harris’s twins were part of the picture.
My celebrity family may just be the best group of characters I’d ever have the pleasure of being related to. Maybe one day I’ll get the chance to rub shoulders with at least once of these amazing people, and I can just pretend that in some way we’re related. A girl can dream, right?