The romantic comedy. The chick flick. The cinematic genre that is just full of ridiculous relationship tropes that aren’t anything like real life. Lots of people love rom-coms, but viewer discretion is advised: don’t look to these movies for realistic expectations about what love is like. Here are just a few myths that rom-coms perpetuate.
He’ll love you if you just change everything about yourself.
First of all, you shouldn’t change who you are. You should try to improve yourself, but the one who truly loves you will love you, flaws and all. And chances are, if a guy wants you to change yourself, he’s not going to really love you, even after you do.
Weddings can be easily crashed, the bride can leave her fiancé at the altar and everything will just work out.
Weddings might get crashed, but it’s not as often as rom-coms make it out to be. And there’s a whole lot wrong with this scenario. First of all, weddings take a ton of planning, are expensive and have a lot emotionally invested in them. People aren’t going to be happy about you running in and whisking away the bride. And if the bride is that easily taken away from the man she was seconds away from marrying, either that poor guy got dragged along by a woman who didn’t really care about him, or you’ve got a fickle young lady on your hands who might just leave you one day at the next prince charming to come along.
Sex solves everything…
…and doesn’t have consequences. Drunken one night stands and spur of the moment intimate relations with a friend can definitely result in worse things than an “oh darn” in the morning. Disease, unplanned pregnancy, emotional damage and plenty of other results can come from sex. And even in a healthy, monogamous and marital relationship, sex is not the cure all for every problem. It’s special, but it doesn’t have magical powers. Relationships are much more than that.
No one ever gets to explain.
Misunderstandings run rampant in the rom-com world, which is okay, because there are certainly lots of them in real life. The problem with the movie versions of these misunderstandings is that no one can ever clear them up quickly and easily. It takes a couple hours of screen time of people running around, lies being told, people getting unnecessarily angry and having the wrong idea and finally things all getting wrapped up in a much more difficult way than was necessary.
Big dramatic confessions of love in front of large crowds of people are the only way to go.
I personally have never witnessed one of these in real life. And I’m thinking they’re pretty rare. But in rom-coms, that is how things are done. Forget the intimate, one-on-one chats, the heartfelt letters (although even those are more common than regular conversations), or most other normal manners of establishing a relationship. Shout it from the rooftops – literally. That’s just the only way.
Pretty girl + ponytail + glasses = ugly unpopular girl.
And then you let her hair down, buy her some contacts and voilà, everyone loves her and she’s a supermodel. That is just not real life, guys. It’s just not. For a more realistic example of the makeover, check out Princess Diaries. That girl was a hot mess before, and the makeover really was a good thing, but even afterwards, it didn’t make her instantly popular. The mean girls were still mean to her, and her best friend thought she was a sellout. She did get to be a princess though, so there’s that.
How Airports Work
In rom-coms, security is totally okay with you running after your one true love to stop them from getting on that plane, you can always get a ticket to anywhere at the last minute, and international relationships are pretty easy. False. None of those things are easy. So, if tomorrow you wake up and decide to spend the afternoon on a spur-of-the-moment rendezvous in Rome with the Italian guy you’ve fallen for, remember that you can’t just run into the airport and hop on a plane. It doesn’t quite work that way.
After being let down by your crush, you realize you’ve loved your best guy friend all along.
And the best guy friend is always hot. This probably happens sometimes, but not at the frequency that rom-coms make it seem. More often than not, your crush breaks your heart, you and your best guy friend are still just friends (even if he is secretly pining over you and trying to sweep you off your feet) and you just spend the next few weeks crying, wearing sweatpants and watching more romantic comedies. And then, maybe, just maybe, you’ll realize your affection for your BFF. But he still might not be hot.
You can cheat, and it will end well.
Even if you’re in a horrible relationship, cheating is not the way to go. And if you’re the loveable protagonist trying to get the girl, but the girl is dating a jerk, cheating with her still isn’t the way to go. It’s just not right, and if it’s easy to get her to cheat, who’s to say she won’t cheat again?
Playing ‘hard tod get’ works.
Be careful how much you follow this little piece of relationship advice from romantic comedies, because most of the time, you play hard to get, and you’re just a little too good at it, and the dude just gives up. And then you’re still single and sad.
BONUS: People hanging up the phone at the end of a random sentence without saying goodbye. And it being normal. In real life, that’s just being weird and rude.
So, friends, if you’re watching romantic comedies for some serious advice and examples about relationships, you are looking for love in all the wrong places. Rom-coms are fun to watch, but they aren’t real. I hope I haven’t burst any bubbles by revealing that bit of information, but if I did, it was time you learned the truth. Romantic comedies are not real life. So keep that in mind, and don’t base your real-world relationships on rom-com tropes and schemes.