It looks like Glee and American Horror Story had a baby that is all grown up and ready to pursue a college degree in satirical dramedy (and minor in screaming). Scream Queens is Ryan Murphy’s latest foray into all that is flashy and horrifying in American culture. Despite the title, Murphy and his team have remained relatively tight-lipped on the details (the showrunner is flanked by his usual partners-in-crime, Brad Falchuk and Ian Brennan). All that’s known about the anthology series is that the first season takes place on a college campus that’s rocked by murders. The main characters – portrayed by Emma Roberts, Lea Michele and Jamie Lee Curtis – have yet to be revealed. Before the show airs in Fall 2015, let’s get psyched and scared about what’s sure to come!
1. Singing is Inevitable
If Ryan Murphy is good at anything, its getting his stars to sing songs no matter the circumstance. Who would have thought we would see Jessica Lange singing a Lana del Rey song in a German accent in what is supposed to be a 1950’s Freakshow? For Scream Queens, Murphy is lining up a cast with impressive pipes – Lea Michele is joined by Keke Palmer, Ariana Grande and Nick Jonas. I’m picturing Pitch Perfect, but with blood. Can Anna Kendrick guest-star?
2. Emma Roberts’ Sassy One-Liners
We’ve seen Emma Roberts on AHS as Madison Montgomery, a jaded child star with a telekinetic mean streak, and Maggie Esmeralda, a feisty con artist parading as a fortune teller. If her AHS reincarnations are any indication, Roberts will be serving up the sass on Scream Queens. Not-so-surprise, bitch!
3. Hotties with a Body (Count)
Has anybody noticed anything….interesting about Nick Jonas lately? Like, that he’s not a mop-headed prepubescent Disney star…? That he’s…totally jacked? Is it just me? Okay.
Nick Jonas (and his abs) is joined by Magic Mike XXL and True Blood star Joe Manganiello (and his abs). When things get bloody, at least the cast can wash out the blood stains with the help of Jonas’ and Manganiello’s washboard abs.
4. Slasher Scares
Turns out, Jamie Lee Curtis has endured scarier things than switching bodies with Lindsay Lohan in Freaky Friday. Scream Queens is inheriting a slasher film legacy with Curtis on board. Curtis reached stardom in the ‘70s and ‘80s for classics such as Prom Night and the Halloween series, earning her the title of “the Queen of Screams.” Let’s hope Scream Queens emulates its predecessors with some campy, bloody scares!
5. The Message
No matter how ridiculous the premise, Murphy’s shows are always grounded in a message. American Horror Story: Coven was a tribute to girl power, and Glee has always been around to remind us – even after six tumultuous seasons – that underdogs are the real winners as long as they don’t stop believin’ (sorry). Scream Queens will no doubt have its turn on the soapbox, and odds are that it will takes cues straight from the headlines, where college campuses are dealing with some pretty scary stuff right now. After all, Scream Queens isn’t set up to shy away from what scares us.
We’ve got a long way until the Fall TV season starts up, so in the meantime we can return to perfecting our Jessica Lange impressions. In case you need a reference point, Coven is on Netflix! You’re welcome.