After almost 10 complete seasons of Supernatural, I was bound to get a little messed up. Between the ghosts, demons, gods and monsters, there was absolutely no way I was going to escape the show unscathed. And sure enough, I’ve found that over the years my psyche has developed a few new fears that I can only contribute to the tiny little show about monster-hunting brothers.
Seriously. I used to be like this 99.9 percent of the time:
Now, I’m more like this:
5. Bad things will happen if I’m in my garage longer than two minutes.
Nothing good has ever happened to anyone in the Supernatural world if they’ve stayed in a garage for any length of time. That guy who thought he bought James Dean’s car? Face was shoved half through the windshield via old time god (a.k.a. Paris Hilton). Poor Titanic descendent who was just trying to get a little bit of work done? Brained by his garage door after almost spearing himself with gardening shears. And Charlie, trying to help bring the Wicked Witch of the West down in the bunker’s garage? Thrown into a window like a freaking rag doll.
Absolutely nothing, under any circumstance, goes right when a garage is involved. And I for one am not going to stick around mine long enough to become the next victim.
4. Dating on Valentine’s Day is a BIG no-no.
Going on a Valentine’s Day date for normal, non-Supernatural people is mostly sweet. Dinner, movie, flowers…potentially an awkward goodnight kiss at the end. A Supernatural Valentine’s Day? You’re date will probably become your dinner. Literally. I’d tell you to just ask that cute little couple who opened the Season 5 episode “My Bloody Valentine,” but they ended up eating one another until there was nothing left to keep them alive. (You can watch for yourself if you don’t believe me, but warning, it’s not for the faint of heart.)
I’ll just schedule all my dates for non-holidays from now on, okay?
3. Weird noises in the house means I’m about to get eaten.
Once upon a time, I’d hear a weird noise in my house and think “Oh, the floors must be settling,” or “I wonder if my roommate left the TV on again.” But now? Now, every weird noise becomes a killer ghost-girl making her way out of a painting like in “Provenance” or a malicious urban legend complete with hooked hand clawing its way towards my room. WHY CAN NOTHING JUST BE NORMAL NOISES ANYMORE?!
Rest assured that Sam would never consider my home a place where “low sodium freaks” live.
2. TAKE AWAY ALL THE MIRRORS NOW PLEASE!
Okay, I’ll admit that the legend of Bloody Mary terrified me long before Supernatural made an episode about her, so she can’t count as the fear I’ve developed since watching the show. But do you want to know what fear did show itself after watching the show? The fear of breaking a mirror. I never really believed that seven years of bad luck would befall me should I shatter a mirror, but then Sam and Dean smashed enough mirrors in the Season 1 episode “Bloody Mary” to bring about the mother of all bad luck for years to come, and they’ve since died. A lot.
I’ve got bad enough karma as it is. I don’t need to help it along, thanks.
1. I’m going to wind up dead if I bump into a stranger on the street.
The fear to end all fears that I’ve managed to discover from watching Supernatural is bumping into a stranger on the street. Ever since Death made his (spectacularly wonderful) entrance in Season 5, I have not been able to comfortably walk down a street. Especially if he has the same creepy elegance that Julian Richings brought to the role. I don’t want my end to come around because I bumped into the most badass horseman of the apocalypse and was deemed rude.
So blanket apology to anyone I might accidentally bump into in the future. Please don’t brush your shoulder and send a heart attack my way.
So there you have it. Those are just some of the ways Supernatural has made me a little more weird over the years. What about you? Any shows make you a little more nervous in your everyday life?