Halloween Costumes for Slackers Like Me

(Image Credit: Zinkevych)

(Image Credit: Zinkevych)

Here we are, in October, and I’m thinking, “How did I get here?” As I have this seasonal existential crisis, I search through my closet for warmer clothes and catch a glimpse of the singular costume I own—a sexy pirate costume– which I have tucked away in the back of my closet. I’m one of those girls that jerry-rigs my Halloween costume together with pieces I own or can quickly pick up the day before, because let’s face it, you know I am not planning that far in advance. “Oh, Halloween is tomorrow? I guess I can go pick up a yard of fur fabric and call myself a cave woman.” But in all seriousness, let’s take a deeper look into how we can go from Last Minute Lillies to the Belles of the Ball this Halloween.

For starters, who doesn’t have jean everything nowadays? It might seem so Justin and Britney circa 2001, but fast forward to 2015 when their denim glam became oh-so-hipster accessible with people matching all denims together. So what does this mean for you this All Hallows’ Eve? Slap on all the jean you have, strap up those work boots, and tie that hair back in a red bandana, because you’re going to work! Just kidding, but Rosie the Riveter would be a great way to remember an American icon that promoted progressive ideas of women in the workplace to support the economy. Rosie the Riveter is an iconic American image that symbolizes progression and unity, and who doesn’t love that?!

Now gents, don’t get your panties in a twist, because I have a fun idea for you too—well, this one goes out to everyone, actually, but that’s neither here nor there. Who doesn’t have a favorite film? That’s right, I am talking about the silver screen, starring you! Last year, I played Johnny Depp playing Raoul Duke playing Hunter S. Thompson in my very own Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. So meta, right?! All it took was a quick trip to the local Goodwill for an old Hawaiian t-shirt someone had foolishly given up. I threw on a pair of Ray-Bans, some khaki shorts, my dad’s fishing hat, a pair of my brother’s socks and my white Converse. I have to say, after years of squeezing into corsets while stumbling through rambunctious crowds in stilettos—which, ouch!—this was my most comfortable costume since I wore that pumpkin onesie as a 2-year-old, AND I got so many fist bumps and “props” for being so Hunter S. Thompson chic.

This type of last minute movie star role-playing doesn’t stop there because the possibilities are endless. For Joe Dirt, cut off the sleeves of an old rocker t-shirt and pick up a mullet wig the day before. For Wes Anderson fans, I just saw an old uniform in an antique shop that was the spitting image of Khaki Scouts’ in Moonrise Kingdom. The possibilities are endless!

And don’t forget that those corsets from years past come in handy too. I was only able to achieve my “sexy blue jay” get-up courtesy of my saloon girl attire. Speaking of sexy blue jays, how do we incorporate those fish-net clad gams? Fear not, my sexy sisters, because literally anything, like for real though, anything, can be labeled “sexy.” When I wore that “sexy blue jay” costume, I did it whole-heartedly as a joke and one trip to the craft store procured enough blue feathers for a wild ‘do. By the end of the night, I had molted my feathers and gained some digits, so the joke was on me! This year, my girlfriends and I will be making our own “sexy” TY Beanie Baby costumes.

True to form, I have no idea which one I am going to be and I probably won’t know until the day before when I have to decide. Jellyfish? Moose? Penguin? Your guess is as good as mine, but now we’re all armed with the courage to realize we can create a costume, even if your friends call you an hour before going out, because last minute costumes are often the funniest and best ones. I like to think they are a bit more truthful because at the end of the day, we’re all just trying to have fun on the eve of All Saints’ Day. Make like Hozier and “take me to church,” sexy Cabbage Patch Kids!

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