Girls are such pains. It’s a wonder how guys even deal with them. Am I right?
Unfortunately, there are tons of lists out there that, while trying to pay homage to boyfriends worldwide, arguably promote an unhealthy image of a heterosexual relationship: A boyfriend gritting his teeth as his girlfriend continues to annoy him.
Regardless if you want a relationship that is traditional, egalitarian, or something in between, this image should never become a reality for you and your significant other. So in an attempt to combat some of the articles I’ve seen floating around, I’ve put together this list of 10 Things You Should Probably NOT Thank Your Boyfriend For:
- Putting up with you and all your craziness.
You shouldn’t feel like you’re being “put up” with. Especially if “your craziness” is just you being yourself. You deserve to be yourself at all times, particularly when you’re with your significant other.
- Acting interested when you gossip.
He should be interested. He’s your boyfriend, your best friend – your muse, if you will – and if he doesn’t care what you’re talking about, then you probably shouldn’t be with him. If you’re a gossiper, it’s probably in your best interest to date another gossiper! Not someone who makes you feel like what you want to talk about is irrelevant and unimportant.
- Letting you drag him along to hang out with your friend though he hates it.
If he’s dating you, shouldn’t he want to know the people your close with? Sure, he doesn’t have to like all of them or even any of them. But it still shouldn’t feel like you’re MAKING him come along. He should give a consistent effort to be friendly and have a good time when he’s with them because they’re important to you.
- Not getting annoyed when you want attention from him.
He should give you the attention you need and want because he cares about you. If he’s been unable to or hasn’t been doing his fair share of making you feel important, then ask him about it. The LAST thing you should be worried about when seeking more attention from your significant other is getting on their nerves! A relationship is a two-way street; you’re allowed to want things and so is he. If he wants you to stop bothering him, then you should want to dump his booty!
- Being adorably jealous of all your heterosexual guy friends.
Relationships are centered on trust and if your boyfriend is jealous of every person whom you may find sexually attractive, then he obviously does not trust you. He’s being possessive. And there is no such thing as a “cute” kind of possessiveness. Of course, an occasional tinge of jealousy is acceptable and even expected, but it should not be unwarranted. Along with this, discussion of it should be rational and fair – not passionate and mean.
- For telling you that you’re “not fat.”
He should make you feel beautiful – assuming that’s how you’d like to feel (I’d definitely be into it) – Not just not-fat. It’s hard to positively impact someone’s body image, but just about everyone likes to feel better inside their skin. And if you need a compliment for when you try on a new outfit that you’re nervous to rock, you deserve to be given a little more encouragement from your boyfriend than just that it doesn’t make you look fat after you ask.
- Not caring when you say you don’t want to be touched.
Take this in whatever context you’d like to. Just please know that ANYONE who does ANY sort of touching to you after you’ve explicitly told them no is a bad person to be with. It’s not romantic, it’s wrong. Plain and simple.
- Letting you know that most of your ideas are, well, wrong.
There’s nothing wrong with disagreeing with your boyfriend about certain issues or ideas, but there is something wrong if you constantly come away from a discussion feeling inferior or stupid. If you both differ in opinion, then you both should be respectful about it – it’s an opinion, you’re both right in how you feel! And if it’s a question that has a definitive answer and someone was incorrect, then that should be let known in a respectful manner.
- Not letting you pay for anything yourself or open your own doors even though you want to.
If his masculine pride is to the point that you feel like he’s treating you more like a fragile vessel than a capable human being, then say something. Some young ladies and women love masculinity being shown in this way and they’ll argue till the cows come home that “chivalry isn’t dead, you hippie!” but that doesn’t mean you need to agree with them. Believe it or not, chivalry can be shown in a multitude of different ways. If you value taking things 50/50 or even 60/40 rather than 99/1 as far as paying for meals and whatnot, then be with someone who lets you feel good about wanting that.
- Making you feel like you couldn’t live without him.
In my opinion, a relationship is two independent people who come together in order to learn, grow, and have fun together. Neither person should feel as if they are completely dependent on the other. Sure, you can depend on certain things from this person, but they shouldn’t make you think that you’d crumble to bits without them. This makes one or both people feel trapped by the other. Not a good thing. At all.
The saddest thing about writing this article is that nearly all my ideas are copied from lists pertaining to what you SHOULD thank your boyfriend for. I changed wordings very little and made up only two of the points that appear on here. It’s a little sickening, to tell the truth.
Please find a good boyfriend who values you and who you’re compatible with. In fact, it’s even more important to value yourself and feel good about who you are. Don’t put yourself in a position where you feel that your boyfriend is entitled to being thanked for doing any of the stuff above.