I can remember the first time my boyfriend posted a picture of us together on his Instagram calling me his girlfriend. I cried. That may sound overly dramatic and cheesy, so let me back up a little and give you some backstory. When my boyfriend and I first started dating it was meant to be something casual. Neither of us was looking to get into a relationship and we were more dating for the sake of why not. When it became obvious to both of us that this was going to be something a little more serious than a few fun nights out, I was in no way prepared for being in a relationship with a social media stoic.
To say he’s relationship reserved and I’m an all out there kind of girl is an understatement. As soon as I was sure I wanted this guy in my life on a more permanent basis, my natural reaction was to start sharing posts about him with my friends. Selfies from dates and status updates about cute things he did began dotting my social media. It was all fine and dandy until time began to pass without him ever doing the same. I immediately began to wonder, does he not want people to know he’s dating me? Is there someone on social media he wants to seem single for? Crazy thoughts went abound and drove me slightly batty for a few good weeks.
Now you may be saying to yourself, this still sounds dramatic, and if you are then you’re probably someone like my boyfriend; an individual who gives little thought to social media and is in fact not trying to do anything nefarious by not posting about their significant other. But if you feel me in the least bit, you’re probably someone like me who puts a certain level of importance on what gets posted on social media.
Let me be clear, I don’t think social media itself is important and realize it’s rampant with superficial posts and lies about how happy and beautiful everyone is. No, what matters to me is whether or not someone deems you important enough to share with friends, family and the world. If they think you’re so attractive that they can’t wait to show you off and so wonderful that they can’t help telling people about it, that’s what matters.
After letting his lack of posting drive me nearly crazy, I talked to my boyfriend about the many ridiculous scenarios I had worked up in my overactive imagination for why he hadn’t posted about me and explained it just like that. His reaction was mostly “Huh?” with a lot of “Why would you think that?” followed by “I’ll go post something.” He didn’t quite get why it mattered so much to me, but at the same time cared that it did and proceeded to post a picture with a sweet caption calling me his girlfriend shortly after. And I cried.
It meant a lot to me that although he didn’t see how being social media official how I did at all, he wanted to make me feel happy and secure in our relationship. It was a small gesture that many would find insignificant, but it was exactly what I needed at that point in our relationship.
Now I know there’s going to be someone saying if you had to ask it wasn’t worth it. But that my friends is one of the most dangerous sentiments you can have in a relationship. Our significant others aren’t psychics. We can’t expect them to know that we’re quietly sitting next to them coming up with a million different scenarios for why they’re not doing something we never asked them to do. So if being social media official is important to you, no matter how petty or insignificant other people tell you it is, don’t hold it in and imagine your significant other is not posting about you for every horrible reason under the sun. Talk to them about why it matters to you and hopefully you’ll find that your social media stoic is happy to post about you if it means making you happy in return.