Why I’m Not Jealous of Selena Gomez

(Image Credit: Image Group LA/ABC)
(Image Credit: Image Group LA/ABC)

I’m not jealous of Selena Gomez. Not even a little. She may be able to whisper her way through a bop while being rich and attractive, but really, I’m not jealous at all… even though my boyfriend finds her attractive. Yes you read that right, my boyfriend thinks Selena Gomez, a girl that looks absolutely nothing like me, is hot and it doesn’t bother me one bit. But if it did, I wouldn’t be alone.

Lots of people laugh at their partner for looking a little too long at Gomez or other celebrities in a magazine spread, or playfully chide them for body appreciating comments under the guise of just kidding, but secretly many people find themselves feeling a twinge of insecurity when the concept of their better half finding someone else attractive comes up. But there’s no reason to feel this way, and I’m about to tell you why I’m not jealous of Gomez and you don’t need to be either.

First and foremost, the most important beauty lesson anyone can learn is that another person’s beauty does not negate your own. I repeat, someone else being thought of as pretty in no way makes you any less attractive. It doesn’t matter how different that person looks than you. In a world full of so many beautiful things to appreciate, it’s not fair to yourself or your partner to believe there is only one type of pretty out there. Beauty comes in many shapes, sizes and colors and there will be times when your partner notices other beauty in the world.

And so do you. Remember that when you feel that twinge of jealousy start. You know that you’ve checked out at least one of The Avengers or a boybander, or maybe even that guy that lives down the hall, on at least a few occasions. It’s natural to notice pretty things and that’s completely okay. You’re fully aware that you have no intention of ever trying to act on those “wow, look at the hotness” feelings and if you want to be in a healthy relationship you have to trust your partner to have the same casually notice and then move on with the day attitude.

Yes, I brought up trust. You knew it was coming and you’re already ready to argue that you can still feel a bit jealous even if you trust someone. And that’s true, but it’s trust that you can use to put out the jealousy fire. If you can trust that your partner really wants to be with you and only you, and means it when they say you’re gorgeous, remind yourself of that when their eyes start to bulge out of their head during the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. Then go back to my first point and tell yourself someone else being pretty doesn’t mean you’re less. And then remember how you drooled a little at the checkout line yesterday when you saw the cover of Men’s Fitness. Do all of that before you let yourself start to feel bad or judge your partner and you might find that the jealousy is subsiding and it’s really not that big of a deal.

That’s why I’m not jealous of Selena Gomez. We may look totally different and my boyfriend may get that glazed over eye look whenever she’s on television, but I’m okay with it because I trust him and know that not only am I beautiful, but he genuinely thinks so too. And I know that I get the same creepy silent stare whenever I see Jake Gyllenhaal. It happens, so I’m not jealous of Selena Gomez one bit. Well, maybe I’m a little jealous of the being filthy rich part, but that’s not the point. Heck, if she were my type I would probably have a crush on her too.

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Writer and Editor-in-Chief of So Fetch Daily. I spend my free time laughing at things that probably aren't funny with the only person I know weirder than me and hanging out with a mini dachshund. @SoFetchAshley

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