How to Survive a Celebrity Breakup

Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris (Image Credit: Taylor Swift/Instagram)
Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris (Image Credit: Taylor Swift/Instagram)

Brace yourselves. Celebrity breakups are coming.

Last year, it seemed as if something was in the Hollywood air because a handful of celebrity couples just broke up out of nowhere. That’s when I believed love is dead. Coming into 2016, we haven’t been hit with THAT many breakups… Until now. Just this past week alone, Gigi Hadid and Zayn Malik, Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris, and Demi Lovato and Wilmer Valderrama have split up.

Looks like I have to delete all my tweets saying that Taylor Swift and Calvin were my OTP goals… Erase the possibility that they would ever make a song together… Or even the fact that Zayn would have somehow found himself in a TayTay squad photo like Joe Jonas when they all were on swans together in the pool. I know you know what I’m talking about.

It’s OK, y’all. We can get through this. I’m used to this thanks to last year’s spur of breakups. First off, don’t dwell on the “whose fault is it?” You’ll end up torturing yourself on who to blame and end up taking sides. Sure, we could all get mad at Calvin Harris for being the one to break poor Swift’s heart because there wasn’t a “spark” anymore. Just you wait, Calvin. Don’t be surprised if we hear a song titled, “Sparks” or “Sparks Die” or some kind of title with that word incorporated in it. And, it’ll be a hit because everything that Taylor Swift touches turns to gold.

Second, don’t expect to see cute snapchats anymore. I relied on Gigi to give me sneak peeks into Zayn’s life since he’s been mostly MIA once he left One Direction. She gave us Directioners a way to keep a track on our beloved missed member. Sigh.

Third, think about the possibility that you could finally date Zac Efron. Oh, you didn’t hear that he’s single now and no longer with Sami Miro? Oh. Well, that should brighten up your day. So you’re saying there’s a chance, Zac? Actually, this could be the same for any relationship. We all have a chance. It may be a long shot and you will probably never run into them in your life, but it’s worth a shot to have positive thinking.

Lastly, if you’re like me, you will no longer have to torture yourself with the whole, “WHY CAN’T I BE HIM/HER?” feelings. I mean, wait. Is that just me?

It’s all right you guys. Things are always changing in the celebrity world. Next thing you know, our favorite ex-couples could be getting back together, having a baby and then getting married. It happened to Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher so this could happen to anyone else. I have hope.

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A pop culture junkie who learned her life lessons from Buffy The Vampire Slayer and Lizzie McGuire. @ashleeeybash

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