There’s a good reason you haven’t hung out with that old friend…

BRIDESMAIDS (Image Credit: Universal Studios)
BRIDESMAIDS (Image Credit: Universal Studios)

We all have that one friend from back in the day who we think was so spontaneous and so much fun. Every now and then they pop into our lives, and we make plans thinking it will be a great time. After all, we haven’t seen each other in months (or years) and we’ve been friends forever.

We talk our old friend up to our new friends like he or she is the epitome of a good time and reminisce about all the wacky memories we’ve made together. And when the day arrives of the scheduled hang out we’re totally pumped for what will be an amazing night.


We expect to be completely in tune with our long lost bestie…


And that the night is going to be awesome.


Then our old friend does their first questionable thing of the evening…


Like greeting everyone with highly offensive language, and you’re left like…


You think maybe it’s just a fluke. You can forgive a little colorful language in the name of old times and having a good night.


But then the next thing you know your old friend is throwing back drinks like it’s about to be prohibition…


And disgustingly making out with a random in the middle of the dance floor.


Before you know it, your new friends are confronting you all like, “I thought you said this person was awesome,” and you’re like…


So you pull your old friend aside and you try to calmly explain this kind of behavior is not acceptable.


And you think you have things under control until you get back from the restroom to find your old friend standing on the bar making insane proclamations.


And all your new friends are like…


Then you start to remember why it’s been so long since you hung out with your old friend…


And all the memories of how they’ve caused chaos in your life in the past, like the time they drunkenly threw up on your roommate’s bed before taking your keys and driving over your foot,  come streaming back as your frustration level hits overdrive.


So you try one more time to get things under control,


But your old friend just laughs it off between shouting out inappropriately wrong lyrics to the song blasting in the background…


At that point your new friends decide they’re going to “check out another bar”…


And you and good ol’ days aren’t invited to come along.


But even though you’re mad you kind of get it…


Until you realize you’re stuck dealing with this disaster on your own…


And even you feel like you need to bail…


But you stick it out watching with secondhand (and personal) embarrassment…


Because you’re not the kind of person who leaves a friend hanging…


Until your old friend starts to pick a fight with the bouncer and you finally can’t take it anymore…


And drag your old friend to the uber you called when they weren’t looking.


Then when you finally get them home, after arguing non-stop about whether or not Sushi City is still serving and having to stop for them to get sick several times, you bid your old friend a fond farewell…


Knowing you have no intention of ever seeing this person again after what they’ve put you through… at least until some time goes by and you forget what makes them so horrible all over again.



Posted by

Writer and Editor-in-Chief of So Fetch Daily. I spend my free time laughing at things that probably aren't funny with the only person I know weirder than me and hanging out with a mini dachshund. @SoFetchAshley

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