When you meet someone that seems to be everything you’ve ever dreamed of and more, it can be hard not to fall head over heels. Hold off on your “future wedding” board on Pinterest, though. The phrase “good things come to those who wait” is especially true in a relationship; if you feel like things are moving too fast, they probably are. Take these steps to slow things down and avoid ruining a relationship that could have great potential.
Evaluate the relationship
It’s perfectly normal to feel like you want to slow down the pace of a relationship in some situations, but in others, you might just not be right for each other. Take some time to think about why you want to slow things down. If your partner is rushing you, it could be that you both have goals and values that are too different from one another. Make sure it isn’t better to end things all together, or you could end up dragging something out that you know won’t work in the long run anyway.
So you’ve thought about why you want to move more slowly, and you know that it isn’t because you want out of the relationship; now it’s time to be honest with your significant other. Tell him or her what’s been on your mind. If you keep your thoughts to yourself, you’ll probably end up getting more and more frustrated with the situation, which never yields a healthy relationship. Tell your partner that you feel like things are moving too quickly, and see what he has to say. For all you know, you could both be thinking the same thing and just didn’t know how to tell the other person.
Make time for yourself
It is so easy to get wrapped up in a romantic relationship. Although it can be hard to pull yourselves away from each other, it’s really important that you do. Everyone needs time to focus on themselves and nobody else. Take some space to think about your own life and keep your mind off the person you’re dating for a while each day. Be sure to spend ample time with your friends, too. Not only is it healthy to be with other people, but it also can be very easy to lose friendships when you don’t split up your time and efforts between them and your partner equally.
Avoid making big plans
The last thing you want to do if you’re trying to slow down a relationship is make big plans for the future. Sure, it’s ok to set a date for next weekend, but don’t go far beyond that. Talking about the future can feel overwhelming to both parties. Even making plans a month or two in advance can make you feel like you’re being tied down, not to mention talking about your lives together years from now. I know from experience that, even if it really does feel like you’ll want to be with someone forever, it may not necessarily be true at all.
Relationships can be wonderful when they’re done correctly, but they also can rapidly go sour if not. When things feel like they are moving too fast, it’s crucial that you do something about it to avoid pent-up frustration or stress. Just be honest, take things slowly, and enjoy the person you’re with!
Originally posted on July 2, 2014