Dear Pumpkin Spice,
First, welcome back! It seems like just yesterday we were reuniting at Dunkin’ – hard to believe it’s been ten months already! Few flavors match your cinnamon and nutmeggy goodness. You’re a classic comfort in the chilly fall. Most of the time, as embarrassed as I am to admit it, my week feels oddly incomplete if I haven’t had my fix in some way. I know, I’m borderline obsessed. But despite my love for you, we need to talk.
At first, your need to enhance things like coffee and cookies and various baked goods was a welcome gesture. Don’t get me started on what you’ve done for the world of hand soaps, sanitizers, and candles. It’s incredible. But Pumpkin Spice, you’ve started to get, well, a little out of control.
I walked into the grocery store the other day and ran into a giant display of pumpkin spice Oreos. OK, maybe not a terrible idea, but Oreos are best as is. Everyone knows this. All these modifications to the classic cookie are decent at best. It was when I turn the aisle and saw pumpkin spice potato chips that I begin to grow concerned.
Really, pumpkin spice on fried slices of potato? It just doesn’t go. I wanted to catch you before you went too far, but I was too late. I’m saddened to say I saw you on the evening news last night, Pumpkin Spice. The reporter announced, and I can’t believe I’m even saying this, that your latest victim was dog treats. Or should I say Pup-kin treats. You, my friend, belong nowhere near dog food and you know it! I fear that you’ve begun to spread yourself too thin and are willing to exploit yourself by whatever means possible. This isn’t you.
I’m concerned about you and wish that you would get back to your roots that worked so well in coffee, cookies, and candles. Follow the example of your cousin, Vanilla Chai. They knew when to stop, enhancing only lattes, ice cream, and the occasional cocktail. You’re fantastic, there’s no doubt about it- but back down and do what you know is right. I love you and want you to be at your best; don’t spread yourself too thin. Less is more, and when done right, you remain special.