Unlike family, boyfriends and best friends are the people you choose to have in your life. For this reason, I have never known how to treat them. How do you treat the people you don’t need to have around, but want to? (Or, sometimes, don’t want to? Or shouldn’t?) I am no stranger to bad boyfriends or bad friends (we’ve all had a few), and I’ve struggled to come up with a way to sift through all the bullshit that comes with either of these strange, tenuous and wonderful brands of interpersonal relationship. Continue reading
For most girls, there comes a point somewhere on the timeline consisting of loose teeth, training bras, first crushes, high school drama, going away to college, finding our first jobs and everything else in between, where we realize our moms aren’t just our moms, but our friends as well. For me, that came one particular fall afternoon when I was 11 and my mom was driving me to piano practice. We were laughing and singing along to the radio and it struck me how insanely cool it was this lady who I got to call “Mom.” It was like a switch went off knowing that while she was my mom first, she was also my friend. Moms are pretty selfless people with a lot of give and very little take. We should all be appreciative of all the big and little things they do for us (let’s face it, a lot of us would be malfunctioning hot messes if it weren’t for our moms), but we also shouldn’t forget to recognize our moms not just for that title alone, but for the incredible people they are – the types of people we would be lucky to call our friends. In honor of moms everywhere, here are ten reasons why you’ll always be able to call your mom one of your best friends. Continue reading
About a month ago, I was scrolling through my university’s Facebook confessions page when I came across a post raving and ranting about how “pathetic” people who remain close with their high school friends are. While the post garnered several hundred likes, there was a hot debate going on in the comment sections about whether or not people agreed with the author’s thoughts. Half seemed to think it was a ridiculous statement while the other half argued that if you could call your high school friends close friends still, you were doing college wrong. This post didn’t make me angry just because I am someone who has managed to maintain many of my close friendships from high school, but because I do not understand the need to pass judgment on people who may be living their life a bit differently than yours. The stigma that appears to be in place when it comes to high school friendships is ridiculous, and as someone who still calls her high friends close friends, I’m calling its bluff. Continue reading
In the pop culture world, Thanksgiving gets the short end of the stick. It falls between the first fall and winter holiday of spooky, scary Halloween and is shortly before the magical time of Chrismahanakwanzika. As soon as the pumpkins are chucked, the Christmas carols start playing on repeat. Everyone immediately adorns their homes with Frosty the Snowman and completely forgoes Tom Turkey. Continue reading
Friends is one of the greatest shows of all time. I won’t add arguably one of the greatest shows because no one that has seen an episode of the hit NBC show would ever argue that it wasn’t among the best shows ever created. The 20th anniversary of the show’s premiere is approaching! What better way to celebrate its birthday than to recognize some of the top episodes of all time. Continue reading
For a large portion of most people’s lives, making friends comes easily. As a child, your parents can set up play dates with your peers; when you get to be a bit older, you can explore friendships and social circles on your own in school to see where you fit in; and in college, you probably have a roommate or two that act as automatic friends, at least until you meet others. After this point, though, forming new friendships doesn’t always come easily. Unfortunately, many people already feel secure in their social circles and don’t necessarily go out of their way to meet new friends, making it difficult for the ones that do. However, there are also a ton of adults out there who are in the same boat and are eager to form new friendships; you just have to find them! Continue reading
When I was a young girl my first serious boyfriend was significantly older. How much older you ask? Old enough to break the “Age Variable Rule.” What’s the Age Variable Rule you ask? It’s something my mother should have taught me and I’ll now pass on to you. My own mother, convinced that my intended was actually much younger (but still old enough to break the rule), and being the hopeless romantic she has always believed that his intentions were pure enough (in his defense they were until my teen hormones pushed him over the edge) and our love was strong enough (it was for several years in fact) to make the May December romance work. I know my mother thought I was extremely mature for my age (I was the only girl on the block more interested in learning to read Ancient Greek than listening to N*Sysnc), but the truth is I was still, at heart, a sixteen year old girl and someone should have taught me that dating someone who broke the Age Variable Rule would ultimately end in heartache for everyone involved (and it did).
So here and now, I will teach you what I wish I had the benefit of knowing back then. Depending on your current age, there is an age span in years above and below your current age from which your dating pool should be comprised. Go higher or lower and you’re most certainly bound for disappointment, heartbreak or a possible jail term.
Let’s begin with the age when most of us start dating. Say you’re a sixteen year old girl. At this point it’s acceptable to date someone one year younger or two years older without much issue. Everyone’s still in high school, it should all be fairly legal and you’re both still incredibly stupid.
Once you hit eighteen things change a bit. You’re still pretty stupid, but you should be in college at this point and can expand your maximum range upward and onward to a whopping three years! The logic here is that when you’re in your college years you really don’t want to be dealing with the distraction of dating a guy more than a year younger who is still back in high school (do you really want to be that girl going to prom as a college freshman? Think it’s not so bad? It is. I was that girl. The shame still hasn’t subsided). You also don’t want the drama of dealing with someone who has already graduated and is just beginning an “adult” life (recent graduates tend to be self-important know-it-alls. If you’ve already been through this phase in life, think back to when you and your friends first got out into the world with your lofty career plans and your crappy grown up apartments. Now you know what I mean.)
When you get to 21 you’re still not going to want to bother with anyone more than a year younger, but the high end goes up to five years. This is often a crazy time full of change and discovery (read as lots of mistakes and starting over). The only people who should have to be subjected to you at this point are people in a similar boat and even then I have sympathy for all parties involved.
At 25, your options start to open up a little depending on where you are in life. If you’re still partying like it’s 1999 four or more nights a week, revert back to the rules of 21. If you’re starting to establish a life for yourself, you’ve reached the two below/eight above span. This gives you a lot of wiggle room. You may even be tempted to go above your max because you’re no longer some silly kid running around just looking to have a good time. You’re an adult who doesn’t need some Age Variable Rule to choose who you should and shouldn’t date. You don’t think it matters if someone is a decade or more older, but it will. A lesson I, and Monica from Friends, learned the hard way.
Remember when she was dating Tom Selleck? Everything was peachy keen for the first few months when they were in the fancy stage of new love. Remember they kept putting off the topic of having kids until it finally it became a breaking point? She was going to compromise, then he was, but they both knew neither one would really be happy in a future together. It doesn’t just happen on tv shows. Follow the rule.
When you hit about 35 your maximum range expands to three years below and ten above. You never want to go more higher than ten for the same reasons stated above. And besides, if you can’t find someone when you have a thirteen year age range to choose from you may be screwed. Just saying.
These rules apply no matter how old you get or how grown up you feel. They are meant to keep us from getting involved with people who are in completely different places in life and who want different things in their immediate and distant futures. I’m not saying you could never get on with someone older or younger than the Age Variable Rule suggests, you may and very well for quite a while, but the problem is eventually you will realize you are at two very different places in life… and that realization can be heartbreaking.
Oh, and in case you were wondering I never finished learning to read Ancient Greek.
Alright, here’s the situation. You come to one of your really good friend’s event whether it be a party, small hang out at their house, eating out at a restaurant, etc. Your good friend introduces you to their friends that you’ve never met. The introductions are going great until you get a weird vibe from one person. Uh-oh, it happened. You’ve met a friend that’s not so friendly… S.O.S. Continue reading
As fun as it is to have a night on the town with your girlfriends, some of the best memories are made just by simply enjoying each other’s company. The funniest stories are often told in the comfort of one another’s homes, because in all honesty, some things just aren’t meant to be shared at a bar or club. The best part about having a girls-night-in with your ladies is that you don’t have to worry about impressing anyone. These nights guarantee the most laughs, and if you’re friends are as ridiculous as mine, you may even end the night with some quality black mail. Since I’m a big fan the girls-night-in, I’ve created a list of some fun ways to spruce up the nights you and your friends want to relax and unwind together (and at a low price).
Some celebrity friendships are blatantly obvious. It’s doubtful you’d hear anyone with even the slightest bit of celebrity knowledge say, “You know, I really don’t think Tim Burton likes that Johnny Depp guy” or “I wonder if Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio are friends in real life?” Yet there are some celebrity friendships that are either so low key or so seemingly mismatched that they surprise even the most avid celebrity gossipers. Continue reading
We all remember that Friends episode where Rachel (Jennifer Aniston) tells Ross (David Schwimmer) they need a break (The One Where Ross and Rachel Take a Break). After Ross assumes Rachel has feelings for her very attractive work partner Mark, Rachel’s patience with Ross is gone and she decides they should take a break. When Rachel finds comfort in Mark and Ross realizes that it’s Mark who came to her rescue, he falters and ends up going home with another woman, the infamous Xerox girl Chole (Angela Featherstone). Continue reading
An atrocious on-screen couple can ruin everything we love about our favorite television show. As loyal and loving fans, we want certain things to happen in the lives of our precious on-screen friends. Yes, they are made-up, but after spending time with them week after week, we really start to get invested. Nothing’s worse than when they screw everything up by dating someone who’s totally wrong for them (and nobody knows who they should or shouldn’t date better than the fans, right?).
This is an ode to all of the “WTF’s” we’ve blurted out when witnessing our favorite characters fall victim to an awful relationship. This is also a way for you to confirm that no, you’re not crazy….there were countless other fans cursing the writers of Friends and Degrassi, too! Here are the five worst on-screen couples that nearly ruined our favorite sitcoms and dramas. Continue reading
How you doin’?
No matter how you’re actually doing, you’re probably smirking right now thinking about Joey Tribiani, right? And you’re probably just as bummed as we are that Martha Kauffman, co-creator of Friends told E! that there will not be a reunion show or movie. The great thing about DVDs though, is that our love for the show never really has to die. Pop in any disc of the series and you can be transported right back to the lovely ‘90s, when you may wonder, “Could Chandler be any more sarcastic?” or, “Really, what were they feeding Smelly Cat?”
Don’t have time for that? Go ahead and check out my list of the 5 best Friends episodes to hold you over until you do! Continue reading
Ever hear the phrase, “Guys and Girls simply cannot be friends”? It is a constant debate within the dating world. For some reason, most people say individuals of the opposite sex cannot simply be “just friends.” Why is this? While there are, of course, many genuine friendships between men and women, it is very common for at least one if not both the individuals to have a desire to be more than friends at some point during the friendship. When one of the individuals is not on the same page as the other it can be a recipe for disaster. Continue reading