How to Stop Thinking About an Off-Limits Crush

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Just like how I was born to write about why I love being single, I am the exact person to write this article about different ways to stop thinking about the crush you can’t date. Why? Because news flash! We live in an imperfect world where not every girl/guy gets the girl/guy at the end of the movie. Otherwise known as… My life.

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No Boyfriend. No Girlfriend. No Problem!

No Boyfriend. No Girlfriend. No Problem!

No Boyfriend. No Girlfriend. No Problem!

Let’s cut to the chase. I’ve been single for a fairly long time now and I’m okay with that. Of course there have been those moments at 2 A.M. where I can’t sleep and think too much and have cried for no reason at all, but 99% of the time, I haven’t been bothered by it. I haven’t lived these past several years thinking “Oh no! I’m single!”. Instead I’ve been focused on a thousand other things. Being single didn’t define me, it was only one of several hundred words that could be used to vaguely describe me.

However, 24 was a turning point for everyone having something to say about my singledom. Apparently, 23 had been the last year I could be single without it being an area of concern. When I turned 24, that age brought with it a heightened interest in my love life. Too many friends and family members had something to say. “You’re too picky!” “There’s someone, don’t worry.” “Aren’t you lonely?” “Don’t settle, my niece didn’t meet someone until she was 45.” “Let me go through all of my friends to see if there’s someone who might be interested!” What the hell? Each new and uninvited comment from some friend or stranger about me being single led to a type of thought process I had never had before.

Everyone’s opinions started swaying the way I viewed my own love life. For a few months, I was in panic mode. I downloaded a dating app. I tried to work out why I was single with whoever was willing to listen. Maybe I had been single for too long, maybe I was too picky. Worst of all, I was starting to feel bad for myself. However, I wasn’t actively working on trying to change my relationship status. There was still that little inner voice screaming at me that I really did like being single and that I wasn’t looking for a relationship right now. When I started to write this article, it was supposed to be about the important benefits of dating yourself. The longer I thought about it, the more I realized that wasn’t sitting right with me. This piece would have come out as yet another article trying to provide validation as to why it is ok to be single. Being single is a choice, not something forced upon you. That right there is the catch to society’s view of singleness. It’s treated like a disease that needs to be cured. I’m writing this for all my fellow single people in the hopes that you will realize this is not the case, and you shouldn’t have to justify why you’re single to other people.

Like I’ve already said, being single is an active choice. If I really wanted to be in a relationship, chances are pretty high that I could be. But I don’t want to be. People write that off as me being picky. I call it going with my instinct. I don’t decide to hang out with someone based on some list of factors I’m trying to check off, I go with what my gut is telling me. If something doesn’t feel right to me, I say no. And I’m sure this is the way for many other single people who are being told they’re too picky. You’re not being picky, and you don’t have to defend why you are being picky. You know you better than anyone else, and you know what is best for you better than anyone else.

There’s also the slight chance that people just aren’t actively seeking out a partner. On my current list of priorities, finding a guy is not near the top, and I’m even less interested in trying to make something happen by force. People are all about organic these days. Eat organic, use organic soap, wear organic clothing, take organic medicine, blah, blah, blah. We’re a society that is so focused on organic products, yet when it comes to relationships, we’re so quick to turn to apps and asking for set ups in order to find some type of relationship instant gratification. What happened to the organic relationship? One that occurs naturally without the assistance of a distance locator and the option to swipe right or left? A better question, why should you have to tell people that’s what you’d prefer to happen? An even better question, why is everyone so focused on other people’s lives and relationships?

Here’s the thing, the people who are focused on you being single are solely focused on what you might be lacking as a single person. Please, dear concerned friends and family members, ease up on the concern. We singles do not want your pity, or sympathy. In fact, it’s almost insulting. You may see your intentions as helpful. You may think that finding me the perfect setup could be a top notch good deed to add to your list. But here’s the thing, unless we’re asking for your help, do not assume we need your help. Stop focusing on the empty space next to us when we walk into a room. Again, that’s an elected empty space. It doesn’t mean we are sad or lonely. It just means we’re doing our own thing.

And that’s a good thing! Being single means really getting to discover who we are. It may sound cliche, but it’s true. In my case, I see my twenties as a precious and valuable time of life. They’re a time to begin a career, nurture your hobbies, discover what types of people excite you, find out who you are and aren’t compatible with. Yes, you can do this with a partner, but you can also do it on your own. The friends I seek out and enjoy spending time with definitely have the qualities that I’ll probably hope to find in someone someday. Because I’m single, I have the time to invest in all of these areas. But again, I’m not here to provide validation for someone else, we’re only validating it for ourselves.

I’ve come back to a point where the only person I listen to when the topic of me being single comes up is myself. I appreciate the people who want to find someone special for me, but if I’m not worried about it, they shouldn’t be either. I’m embracing this time for what it is: a time to explore, to create, to dream, and to do whatever the heck it is thatI want to do. I’m selfish, but I’m ok with that! There will come a day when I’m ready to stop flying the single flag and I’ll readily give up my time for the sake of someone else, but  for right now, I’m enjoying it for all it’s worth. I hope all my fellow singles are as well. Don’t worry about what others say or think- they were all single at one point too, and as I’ve said, that was anything but a bad thing.

Why I’m Not Jealous of Selena Gomez

(Image Credit: Image Group LA/ABC)

(Image Credit: Image Group LA/ABC)

I’m not jealous of Selena Gomez. Not even a little. She may be able to whisper her way through a bop while being rich and attractive, but really, I’m not jealous at all… even though my boyfriend finds her attractive. Yes you read that right, my boyfriend thinks Selena Gomez, a girl that looks absolutely nothing like me, is hot and it doesn’t bother me one bit. But if it did, I wouldn’t be alone.

Lots of people laugh at their partner for looking a little too long at Gomez or other celebrities in a magazine spread, or playfully chide them for body appreciating comments under the guise of just kidding, but secretly many people find themselves feeling a twinge of insecurity when the concept of their better half finding someone else attractive comes up. But there’s no reason to feel this way, and I’m about to tell you why I’m not jealous of Gomez and you don’t need to be either.

First and foremost, the most important beauty lesson anyone can learn is that another person’s beauty does not negate your own. I repeat, someone else being thought of as pretty in no way makes you any less attractive. It doesn’t matter how different that person looks than you. In a world full of so many beautiful things to appreciate, it’s not fair to yourself or your partner to believe there is only one type of pretty out there. Beauty comes in many shapes, sizes and colors and there will be times when your partner notices other beauty in the world.

And so do you. Remember that when you feel that twinge of jealousy start. You know that you’ve checked out at least one of The Avengers or a boybander, or maybe even that guy that lives down the hall, on at least a few occasions. It’s natural to notice pretty things and that’s completely okay. You’re fully aware that you have no intention of ever trying to act on those “wow, look at the hotness” feelings and if you want to be in a healthy relationship you have to trust your partner to have the same casually notice and then move on with the day attitude.

Yes, I brought up trust. You knew it was coming and you’re already ready to argue that you can still feel a bit jealous even if you trust someone. And that’s true, but it’s trust that you can use to put out the jealousy fire. If you can trust that your partner really wants to be with you and only you, and means it when they say you’re gorgeous, remind yourself of that when their eyes start to bulge out of their head during the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. Then go back to my first point and tell yourself someone else being pretty doesn’t mean you’re less. And then remember how you drooled a little at the checkout line yesterday when you saw the cover of Men’s Fitness. Do all of that before you let yourself start to feel bad or judge your partner and you might find that the jealousy is subsiding and it’s really not that big of a deal.

That’s why I’m not jealous of Selena Gomez. We may look totally different and my boyfriend may get that glazed over eye look whenever she’s on television, but I’m okay with it because I trust him and know that not only am I beautiful, but he genuinely thinks so too. And I know that I get the same creepy silent stare whenever I see Jake Gyllenhaal. It happens, so I’m not jealous of Selena Gomez one bit. Well, maybe I’m a little jealous of the being filthy rich part, but that’s not the point. Heck, if she were my type I would probably have a crush on her too.

True Love Doesn’t Always Come With a Foot Pop

(Image Credit: Antonio guillem)

(Image Credit: Antonio guillem)

When I was younger, I used to think that the only way to know if a relationship was true love was if my foot popped when I kissed my boyfriend. I know, it’s ridiculous, but that’s just what I had seen in TV shows and movies. Guy meets girl, they fall in love, and on their first kiss? Boom. The girl’s foot just pops right up. Then the cheesy instrumentals played, the credits began to roll and you leave the theater knowing Jack and Jill live happily ever after.

The movies made it look simple, and this is an idea that was ingrained in my brain at an extremely young age. Even though I know that love isn’t as simple as a foot pop, there’s some sense of comfort in realizing the true mark of romance lies within an uncontrolled reflex in the foot. If I’m being honest though, there’s still a part of my anxiety that just screams: “NO FOOT POP. NOT TRUE LOVE.”

The cliche romance ideas continued into my teen years, and became even more robust. As a high schooler, I used to be extremely obsessed with this idea that if my relationship didn’t encompass what the media had defined as a happy relationship, it was doomed to fail. On that list was a variety of cliché-driven concepts, like a foot pop, no fighting, and butterflies every time I see them. I don’t think I was aware I made the list and would check it off. While all my high school relationships were riddled with bigger problems, in my young and naive mind my relationships failed because of my superficial checklist.

Now, in the age of social media, there are hundreds of Facebook pages dedicated to giving you tips and insights to the perfect relationship. They tell you that the only way to have a good relationship is to have someone who is basically the perfect human being. They need to shower you with praise, post about you on Facebook or Instagram, and of course, devote all their attention to you. There are articles posted every day about 10 ways they’re not good for you, or how to tell you’ve met THE ONE, and we eat it up.

And if you’re like me with the occasional bout of relationship-driven anxiety, these articles are torture. You know better than to click on them, but you do. You read every article, think of your significant other, and then somehow convince yourself that the habits you never thought twice about are now super critical to whether or not they truly love you. Then, before you know it, you’ve updated that subconscious “perfect relationship” list and realized maybe this isn’t the right fit.

I understand, rationally of course, that this probably sounds crazy. If you’re confident in your relationship, why does all that matter? Well, you’re right. It shouldn’t, and it doesn’t to me anymore, but what about the younger generations?

We live in an age where our relationships are being defined by how often our significant others are posting about us, what they display publicly for others to see. It’s about thinking that all relationships fall into this cliche box of butterflies and cute selfies, and that’s so concerning to me.

No two relationships will be the same. We all have different personalities and different ideals that make the complicated world of falling in love with someone work for us. Sure, there are the golden rules we all follow: no abuse, no cheating, no possessive jealousy and a few others. But each relationship will have its own checklist. One that is not defined by how many likes you get on Instagram, or the number of back massages you get. Rather, it’ll be defined by what you feel works best for your relationship.

I have parts in my relationship that I love. We bond over video games, Rooster Teeth and Clemson football. We have cute pet names, we share silly stories about our pets like they are our children, and sometimes we just sit in different rooms because we want too. We probably talk way too much, and we split our responsibilities as evenly as possible. But for some people that may not be the best way for their relationship to flourish.

They may both be introverts and sit in silence for hours at a time, whereas another couple may spend hours on end talking until they fall asleep. Some of them may be more traditional in their roles, while others might be more modern. Every relationship, every person, every situation is different, and the more we try to compare ourselves to what social media and Hollywood perpetuates as “the perfect relationship,” the more we’ll be striving for something that may not be achievable.

Just because you and your significant other don’t go out for date night three times a week, or they don’t post about you constantly on social media doesn’t mean they aren’t perfect for you. Just because your foot didn’t pop or you stop getting butterflies every time you see them or kiss them doesn’t mean you still don’t deeply care for that person.

Stop comparing yourself to what you think is right, and start defining the relationship on what you feel is right. So what if it’s not traditional, or what all your friends are doing? What matters at the end of each day is whether you are happy and if the relationship is healthy. Everyone is going to have an opinion on how you should create a lasting relationship, but only you know best.

If you have found something genuine, that truly makes you happy, it won’t be found in the amount of PDA, kisses in the rain, or an occasional midnight rendezvous. It’ll be found in developing a genuine connection with someone who just loves you for all your quirks, your positives, your negatives and your crazy obsession with sloths.

Trust yourself, talk with your significant other and go on with your happy relationship. You’ll know when it’s time to call it quits if you need to, and you’ll know when to keep pushing forward based on what’s working for you.

Everyone is different, so don’t worry if your relationship doesn’t look like your best friends. As long as you’re happy, that’s what truly matters.

Why are High School Friends so Hard to Keep?

(Image Credit: william87)

(Image Credit: william87)

Friends are hard to keep. And all those friends you made throughout primary school and eventually graduated with always seem to be the first to go.

As everyone gears up to take on the next phase of their lives, whether that be going to college, starting their career, or taking a gap year; all the old friends that roamed their high school halls together seem to fade apart. And, interestingly enough, this eerie little situation is expected. Why?

In my research and personal experience, it seems that there are three main reasons:

  1. Opportunity, Not Preference

People often choose their friends based on who is the easiest to connect with the most often rather than who we like the most. Sociologist, Gerald Mollenhorst, surveyed men and women between the ages of 18 and 65 about their friendships and then re-interviewed them seven years later to find that only 30 percent of original friendships remained. The main reason for this a disruption in social context. And this change in social context tore friends apart regardless of the closeness of the relationship.

Basically, almost all of us feel this change in social context after high school graduation. We are no longer forced to attend the same school every weekday, thus our opportunity to be friends with people from primary school is hindered. And research shows that, even if this person is our soul mate, there is about a 70% chance we will dump them because it’s harder to connect with them as often as we need.

  1. Personal Growth

But let’s say your social context hasn’t been so disrupted. Maybe you go to the same college as a friend, or your breaks happen to fall on the same weeks, or you both still live and work in your hometown. Why does it still feel like your drifting apart?

Many people account this to one’s growth as a person. Interests, passions, and hobbies change, and at a rapid pace in 18-22 year olds. As this happens, old friends can find they have fewer connections to each other.

For example, one blogger references mocking feminism with one of her friends, but now is a feminist herself. Or how she used to bond over sports with another friend, but now they don’t live in the same area so getting together to play can be difficult.

Lots of people experience this. The well of shared interests and activities slowly dries up between people until, eventually, there’s not a whole lot left. It can be saddening, but it’s not necessarily a bad thing. Growth in yourself means your progressing more to who you’re meant to be, and your good high school friends helped lead you on this path.

  1. Titles Change

I go to college in a different state with no one from my high school. But, naturally, I’ll tell stories from back home and reference people from my hometown. Often, I give them the new subtitle: “Friend from High School,” when they used to just be “Friend.”

It’s a small change, but these words work furiously behind the scenes.

Because I’ve given them this new moniker, they have become someone from my past rather than a present friend who is actively a part of my life. I feel less inclined to talk to them every day and have come to expect not see them very often at all. Soon, when I used to see this person a certain amount of times per week or month in order to maintain them as a “Friend,” I feel that the occasional message on Facebook does the job for the “Friend from High School” relationship we have now.

A change in someone’s title, even without a disruption in social context, affects how one treats them. I mean, why do you think some people are so opposed to being called a “boyfriend” or “girlfriend”? There are certain expectations and behaviors that come with the monikers we give to people. These social pressures work on us whether or not we’re aware.

Humans, man. We’re social creatures.

All in all, high school friends are extremely important. They give you some of your first adult memories. They lead you onto the path your on today. Some can be people you cling to for the rest of your life for guidance, confidence, and company. And there are tons of articles out there dedicated to giving tips to those trying to maintain their high school relationships.

But it’s also imperative to know that it’s OKAY to lose your friends from high school. Lots of people do. It doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you, it just means your social context and personality are changing which is a good thing. Life wouldn’t be fun if you weren’t progressing through it, going on to bigger and better things, and meeting new people.

Technolove or Tech = No Love? That is the Question

(Image Credit: astrosystem)

(Image Credit: astrosystem)

Technology has turned communication on its head. I no longer live in a world where people casually converse with the person ahead of them at the grocery store. Instead, you will find a series of people with their heads down and thumbs avidly keying a screen that illuminates their face while sending society into a dark age of relationships.

This is an exploration of what my personal experiences mean and the remorse I feel over a time of communication gone by, no longer enjoyed often.

What is Romance Again?

I won’t be so morbid as to say that swoon-worthy moments are dead, but they sure are far-fetched, if not totally forced. My idea of a Darcy darling has been replaced with Tinder tastelessness.

I am definitely not a damsel in distress, but are there any hot knights out there that I can ride alongside? What happened to the good ol’ days when I was courted by horse and buggy? I miss my sweating palm as I dialed my boyfriend’s house phone and was forced to leave a voicemail on the family line.

Comfortable as I may be lounging in my favorite PJs, I am not forced to swipe left or right robotically on my coach as I eat dinner and dessert—alone. Again. Hey, no judgments here!

This is no Arthurian legend that I’m living here. I am no character in my favorite Jane Austen novel. I left my land line in the ‘90s with my Tamagotchi pets and Furby. While I am happy to have left many misogynistic social practices in the past, where did the romance go?

There has to be a meeting point between the past and present where a “truly, madly, deeply” kind of love can be secured and kept safe from hackers. I haven’t found it yet, but maybe we can figure out the code.

I “Like” Them:

There is an immediacy that is not only inherent in social media, but also intrinsically part of our lives with the advent of the smartphone. These days you can’t escape notifications and there is no reprieve from hounding texts.

While it is so convenient to have my social life attached to my palm at all hours of the day *insert eye-roll here because I’m obviously being sarcastic*, I can’t help but scoff and think “Who cares what so-and-so is doing at such-and-such an hour?!” Although, I say this as I go ahead and “like” their photo anyway, because that’s the society I live in and I am addicted to the pressures of cyber friendships too.

How can we change this dedication to the cyber “like?” It’s such a massive part of our lives now. I went to dinner the other night with my girlfriends and as we all posted pictures, our conversation wove in and out of social media talk:

I’m so glad the semester is over. You used such a good filter. I just had a major sale the other day, so I am going to make my quota. That’s awesome! No one has liked my picture yet. I did. Yeah, but no one else has. Did you guys see the trailer for the new Leo movie?! Omg, that looks amazing. I can’t wait to see it. Ugh, look who just liked your picture. Who? Just look…

And so the story goeswe momentarily step out of our physical reality into this outside experience so closely tied to what I’m doing at that moment. It’s a new layer of my life that I haven’t quite figured out whether I “like” or not. Regardless of how I feel, this movement towards technological living has given society a new power over the individual as we are swayed towards a virtual reality in tune with others.

No Wait before the Date:

Remember when Christmas was exciting and there were presents wrapped by a mysterious, fat, and happy man who rewarded us for being good? Well, the jig is up. We send Christmas lists to friends and family without any intrigue or mystery because we have to know what we are getting—we have to know that these gifts are right for us.

The innocence is gone as we eat, drink, and are merry with friends and family over the holidays and find ourselves being set up on “blind” dates that aren’t so blind anymore now that we can stalk profiles. With or without the wine, you are drunk on the notion that this might be the one, distorting your understanding of the situation. You now have the ability to kinda-sorta know what they look like, so essentially, you have signed up for “blurry” first date (since people very rarely look as good in real life as they do in pictures).

Then the questions start pouring in… How do I know I like him if I don’t even know if he reads? Is he liberal? Does he like the outdoors? Is he allergic to dogs?! These are all questions I need answered which profile stalking deters us from finding out because catching a glimpse of someone’s pictures categorizes them. We are never able to remove those first impressions with his ex-partner or his agility while doing a keg stand in ’09—we never get a clean slate and it doesn’t give us a chance to find out who someone truly is now.

It is this immediacy that I have qualms with because it has ruined “the wait.” You don’t need to wait around to meet someone because the best versions of those people reside within a little device that fits in your pocket. You are immediately notified when they added you to be a “friend,” and when they “liked” your picture, but what these notifications lack is the meaning within this virtual communication that can only be relayed with human contact.

I mean, what does an Instagram “like” even mean?! Also, how should I react to a man commenting “Gorgeous!” on my profile picture—along with so many other women’s?! These roadblocks didn’t exist for centuries and all of the sudden I’m plopped into a dating scene that is nothing short of understanding social hieroglyphics that include emojis and acronyms for every occasion.

This all sounds nice and confusing, if not a bit superficial and weird, but what about when things don’t work out? What happens when you can’t escape the virtual reality of your ex-spouse?

I Can’t Quit You:

We have all been confronted with the issue of that is *cue dooming sound effects*: the ex. They pop up on your newsfeed time and time again. They went to your spot. They went on a trip that you had talked about. They started dating someone new.

This is where my relationship with technology becomes unhealthy because I always go back for more. How do you move past the “Ugh, I hate them but I want to know what they’re doing” stage? It’s hard but there has to be a way to rewind the clocks to the time when I didn’t have an app that reminded me of our painful parting words with status updates and pictures fun outings.

The best way to channel the years when you were able to move on without a siren going off in your broken heart every time you go online is to un-friend them. I tried it out recently for the first time and it worked wonders. I no longer had the ability to look or see anything. After deleting their phone number, the unhealthy habit was broken forever. Henry David Thoreau once wrote, “For it matters not how small the beginning may seem to be: what is once well done is done for ever,” and it’s true because I never have to see him again, or anyone else that I don’t want to see, since I took control of the situation and learned to remove myself from their life. Don’t mind me; I’ll just be dancing down my new singing, “I’ve Got the Power.”

The point I’m trying to make here is un-friend and un-plug as you see fit. Be a “friend” to yourself first. No one can do it for you, so I say take the power that resides in the stroke of your finger as you eliminate the unnecessary and invest in your value. Go out there and wink at that hottie across the coffee shop. Ask for your friends to refrain from showing you pictures of a successful banker who used to party like a rock star. Join a hiking club and have conversations with someone new.

These are all experiences that are available to us now, but we forget when we are inundated with notifications that people “like” us on our lit up screen.

Don’t get me wrong, I won’t be deleting my social media accounts any time soon, and I do believe in the good power and logic behind the technology that keeps my life moving forward, but sometimes you have to take the time to reevaluate the big picture and what it takes to get there. There just isn’t an app for that. I can’t download my partner (even though I sometimes wish I could—it would be a hell of a lot easier). I have to cultivate that relationship myself, the old fashioned way.

Share the Love:

While we may have created these obstacles that did not haunt people in the past, and while they are painful realizations to overcome when faced with a virtual reality layered on top of our everyday existence, social media is a powerful tool for us finding love and loving life.

We can share things with friends and family. We can celebrate others’ successes and invite them to cheers to our own. Just remember to stay grounded within this experience. Technology and the social media that it makes so easily accessible is a simulacrum of what is and always will be reality.

In the End:

I think we found our answer to finding that “truly, madly, deeply” kind of love within this society which is to remember that technology and all that it brings is not our physical reality and to stay true to ourselves when we find our world looking more and more filtered.

10 Things You Should Probably NOT Thank Your Boyfriend For

(Image Credit: George Dolgikh)

(Image Credit: George Dolgikh)

Girls are such pains. It’s a wonder how guys even deal with them. Am I right?

I’m not.

Unfortunately, there are tons of lists out there that, while trying to pay homage to boyfriends worldwide, arguably promote an unhealthy image of a heterosexual relationship: A boyfriend gritting his teeth as his girlfriend continues to annoy him. Continue reading

New Bumble Dating App Puts the Ball in the Ladies’ Court

(Image Credit: Moxco Inc.)

(Image Credit: Moxco Inc.)

Alright all my single ladies. It has happened. Technology has put the ball in our court!

You’re probably thinking, “What in the world is she talking about?” Well, let me explain. The other day I was watching The Daily Show with Trevor Noah and Noah’s guest was Bumble CEO Whitney Wolfe. At first, I had no idea who she was and what Bumble even meant but after Noah explained she’s a co-founder of the hit app Tinder… it all made sense. On the show, Wolfe was promoting her brand new app, Bumble, which is a bit like Tinder… but with a twist! Continue reading

Dealing with Distance: How to Survive a Long Distance Relationship

(Image Credit: Olly)

(Image Credit: Olly)

It’s the summer before you and your boyfriend or girlfriend go off to college. You’ve been together for a while now and things are going really well. In fact, you’re not clingy or anything, but this person might really be the one. Only problem is, you’re both going to different schools. Suddenly you’re starting to have second thoughts, maybe this wasn’t meant to work out… Continue reading

Love, Anonymously: Stop comparing yourself to the new girlfriend

(Image Credit: Elnariz)

(Image Credit: Elnariz)

What does she look like? It was the first thing I wondered when I heard that the guy I’d been crushing on forever was actually seeing someone. He was the kind of guy that a lot of girls are enamored with- easygoing, witty, great with kids, outdoorsy and adventurous, and good-looking in that Nicholas Sparks boy-next-door kind of way. Seeing that he was one of my best friend’s older brothers, I’d known him for a long time. As the years passed and the age difference stopped seeming like such a big deal, he went from being a silly crush to someone I was seriously interested in. And some stuff happened there, but it was never substantial. I knew it was just for fun and that to let myself get attached would be dumb, but- SPOILER ALERT- I got attached. When it didn’t lead anywhere, I was sad, but the dude was perpetually single. Naively thinking he would be single for pretty much ever made the blow of knowing we would probably never really get together much easier to handle. Continue reading

Life in the Linz Lane: Lessons Learned from Goodbye

(Image Credit: Kasto)

(Image Credit: Kasto)

It was only a couple of days ago; I sat on the tarmac waiting for my plane to take off, clutching desperately to a one-way ticket. I looked out the window and searched for a sign, a revelation, if you will. I needed to know I was doing the right thing. Yet desperately as I searched, I was only comforted and briefly saddened by the hazy New York City skyline and the familiar noises of a plane gearing up for flight. While the flight attendants prepared for departure, I scrolled through my text messages one last time. Just then, a message lit up across my screen. I don’t understand why you’re moving so far. Do you really need to leave? Continue reading

Why You Shouldn’t Date a Girl Who Reads

(Image Credit: Djoronimo)

(Image Credit: Djoronimo)

Everyone, ok mostly everyone, remembers the original “You Should Date a Girl Who Reads” by Rosemarie Urquico. It’s this great piece of writing that beautifully describes the characteristics of a girl who reads and how wonderful a life with her would be. I’m an avid reader, and like every other avid reader who read it, I was all like “YES, THIS IS ME, SOMEONE GETS IT! MEN OF THE WORLD COME HITHER AND BEHOLD THIS READING VIXEN!” Continue reading

Tara Talks: Episode Thirty Two (The One with the Friendzone)

TARA TALKS (Image Credit: Tara Robinson)

TARA TALKS (Image Credit: Tara Robinson)

We’ve all been there! Either having to friendzone someone or having someone put you there. Unfortunately, I have no advice to give you. Sorry there, but hey I can at least tell you to just get over it and find someone who actually wants to be with you and can give you 100%! Continue reading

The Health Benefits of Cuddling

(Image Credit: Warren Goldswain)

(Image Credit: Warren Goldswain)

Most of us really enjoy a good cuddle every now and then. Whether that’s with your significant other, your dog or cat, or that stuffed animal you’ve had since you were little, there’s just something about cuddling that makes us feel good. In fact, there’s this girl who is allowing people to buy cuddle time with her, a completely innocent way for her to help others feel better. But does it actually really help us? Well, as it turns out there are some really great health benefits of cuddling. Continue reading