The Twelve Steps in My Bravoholics Anonymous Recovery

WATCH WHAT HAPPENS LIVE (Image Credit: BravoTv)

WATCH WHAT HAPPENS LIVE (Image Credit: BravoTv)

1.) I admit that I am powerless over Bravo–that my TV watching life has become unmanageable.

Every night after a long day at work, I plop onto the couch, grab the remote from where I last left it, and hit power on. Before my mind even realizes what my fingers are doing, I am in a trance, typing in the channel numbers to tune me into Bravo. It’s as natural of an act as turning on a light switch. It does not matter what day of the week or what time it is. I’m not even looking for a specific show to be on. I am paralyzed by the channel, tuned in with a half-conscious stupor, as the voices of The Real Housewives and Below Deck casts become white noise. My DVR is set to record each series, including “first looks” of new episodes, making watching any other channel or show impossible. I don’t make after work plans with friends if there is a new episode of Top Chef on and I would miss its live airing. Bravo consumes me, and I am powerless against it.

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No Boyfriend. No Girlfriend. No Problem!

No Boyfriend. No Girlfriend. No Problem!

No Boyfriend. No Girlfriend. No Problem!

Let’s cut to the chase. I’ve been single for a fairly long time now and I’m okay with that. Of course there have been those moments at 2 A.M. where I can’t sleep and think too much and have cried for no reason at all, but 99% of the time, I haven’t been bothered by it. I haven’t lived these past several years thinking “Oh no! I’m single!”. Instead I’ve been focused on a thousand other things. Being single didn’t define me, it was only one of several hundred words that could be used to vaguely describe me.

However, 24 was a turning point for everyone having something to say about my singledom. Apparently, 23 had been the last year I could be single without it being an area of concern. When I turned 24, that age brought with it a heightened interest in my love life. Too many friends and family members had something to say. “You’re too picky!” “There’s someone, don’t worry.” “Aren’t you lonely?” “Don’t settle, my niece didn’t meet someone until she was 45.” “Let me go through all of my friends to see if there’s someone who might be interested!” What the hell? Each new and uninvited comment from some friend or stranger about me being single led to a type of thought process I had never had before.

Everyone’s opinions started swaying the way I viewed my own love life. For a few months, I was in panic mode. I downloaded a dating app. I tried to work out why I was single with whoever was willing to listen. Maybe I had been single for too long, maybe I was too picky. Worst of all, I was starting to feel bad for myself. However, I wasn’t actively working on trying to change my relationship status. There was still that little inner voice screaming at me that I really did like being single and that I wasn’t looking for a relationship right now. When I started to write this article, it was supposed to be about the important benefits of dating yourself. The longer I thought about it, the more I realized that wasn’t sitting right with me. This piece would have come out as yet another article trying to provide validation as to why it is ok to be single. Being single is a choice, not something forced upon you. That right there is the catch to society’s view of singleness. It’s treated like a disease that needs to be cured. I’m writing this for all my fellow single people in the hopes that you will realize this is not the case, and you shouldn’t have to justify why you’re single to other people.

Like I’ve already said, being single is an active choice. If I really wanted to be in a relationship, chances are pretty high that I could be. But I don’t want to be. People write that off as me being picky. I call it going with my instinct. I don’t decide to hang out with someone based on some list of factors I’m trying to check off, I go with what my gut is telling me. If something doesn’t feel right to me, I say no. And I’m sure this is the way for many other single people who are being told they’re too picky. You’re not being picky, and you don’t have to defend why you are being picky. You know you better than anyone else, and you know what is best for you better than anyone else.

There’s also the slight chance that people just aren’t actively seeking out a partner. On my current list of priorities, finding a guy is not near the top, and I’m even less interested in trying to make something happen by force. People are all about organic these days. Eat organic, use organic soap, wear organic clothing, take organic medicine, blah, blah, blah. We’re a society that is so focused on organic products, yet when it comes to relationships, we’re so quick to turn to apps and asking for set ups in order to find some type of relationship instant gratification. What happened to the organic relationship? One that occurs naturally without the assistance of a distance locator and the option to swipe right or left? A better question, why should you have to tell people that’s what you’d prefer to happen? An even better question, why is everyone so focused on other people’s lives and relationships?

Here’s the thing, the people who are focused on you being single are solely focused on what you might be lacking as a single person. Please, dear concerned friends and family members, ease up on the concern. We singles do not want your pity, or sympathy. In fact, it’s almost insulting. You may see your intentions as helpful. You may think that finding me the perfect setup could be a top notch good deed to add to your list. But here’s the thing, unless we’re asking for your help, do not assume we need your help. Stop focusing on the empty space next to us when we walk into a room. Again, that’s an elected empty space. It doesn’t mean we are sad or lonely. It just means we’re doing our own thing.

And that’s a good thing! Being single means really getting to discover who we are. It may sound cliche, but it’s true. In my case, I see my twenties as a precious and valuable time of life. They’re a time to begin a career, nurture your hobbies, discover what types of people excite you, find out who you are and aren’t compatible with. Yes, you can do this with a partner, but you can also do it on your own. The friends I seek out and enjoy spending time with definitely have the qualities that I’ll probably hope to find in someone someday. Because I’m single, I have the time to invest in all of these areas. But again, I’m not here to provide validation for someone else, we’re only validating it for ourselves.

I’ve come back to a point where the only person I listen to when the topic of me being single comes up is myself. I appreciate the people who want to find someone special for me, but if I’m not worried about it, they shouldn’t be either. I’m embracing this time for what it is: a time to explore, to create, to dream, and to do whatever the heck it is thatI want to do. I’m selfish, but I’m ok with that! There will come a day when I’m ready to stop flying the single flag and I’ll readily give up my time for the sake of someone else, but  for right now, I’m enjoying it for all it’s worth. I hope all my fellow singles are as well. Don’t worry about what others say or think- they were all single at one point too, and as I’ve said, that was anything but a bad thing.

Cast Catch-Up: ‘Friday Night Lights’

FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS (Image Credit: NBCUniversal)

FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS (Image Credit: NBCUniversal)

Friday Night Lights had arguably one of the most fantastic ensemble casts of all time. In addition, the FNL cast was HUGE. It would take forever and a half to actually catch up with all of the actors that ever had an impact on the show because there were just so many of them. So I’ve broken it down to a handful of my favorites, but don’t think I’ve forgotten about the rest! Maybe there’s an FNL Cast Catch-Up 2.0 in your future!

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10 Affordable Finds From IKEA You Didn’t Know You Needed

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We all know IKEA is basically a magical Scandinavian wonderland full of entertainingly-named, reasonably-priced stuff to spruce up your house, and if you don’t find what you’re looking for you can always find solace in a cinnamon roll on your way out the door.

But IKEA can be overwhelming just because of the sheer amount of shelving units, pillow covers and bed frames there are to sift through. Before you know it, you start panicking and either give up completely and bolt or grab a bunch of random stuff and hope for the best.

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Crystals 101: Gems Can Be Powerful, Not Just Pretty

(Image Credit: trinetuzun)

(Image Credit: trinetuzun)

Curious about crystals? Maybe you’ve seen some lovely selenite towers in the window of the local New Age store or a lovely picture of crystals on Pinterest. (There are plenty.)  Precious stones have been a source of mystery and belief for eons, appearing in the healing and worship rituals in cultures from the Americas to Asia. Here’s your step-by-step guide to entering the world of crystals.

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5 Books to Take With You to the Beach This Summer

BeachBooks_FT

One of the best combinations in life is that of the beach and a good book. With a background soundtrack consisting of gull cries and waves slapping the shore, it’s beyond easy to get lost within the pages of a story. While there are tons of lists about what the best books of the summer are circulating, we worked to compile a short list of five that we found to be knockouts. Check out our picks below!

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5 Reasons to Add Gymnastics to Your Olympics Must-See List

(Image Credit: Instagram @alyraisman)

(Image Credit: Instagram @alyraisman)

The opening ceremony for this year’s Summer Olympics in Rio are tonight, and the ceremony kicks off some very busy weeks of athletic competition in sports that don’t get a whole lot of attention outside of the Olympic year. One of those sports is gymnastics, which takes the spotlight every four years as casual fans and Olympic-watchers take the opportunity to check out this unique sport. Maybe gymnastics is already on your can’t-miss Olympic viewing list, but if it’s not, it should be, and here’s why:

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How to Deal With an Unwanted Office Flirtation

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Everyone deals with unwanted flirtation here and there. Some guy cat calls you in the street, and you yell something (probably mildly profane) back at him. Obviously not pleasant, but also not the end of the world. But when it happens in a work environment, it’s a totally different story. You’re probably seeing this person every day, and you don’t want to risk creating an even more uncomfortable environment for yourself. There’s no doubt that it’s a delicate situation.

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Sorting Woes: A Step-by-Step Guide to Embracing Your Ilvermorny House

(Image Credit: Pottermore)

(Image Credit: Pottermore)

Like the rest of the Harry Potter generation, I spent my 11th birthday hoping for a Hogwarts letter that never came. I contented myself with the fact that Hogwarts is in the United Kingdom and I’m not, so maybe I was just too far away for them. But now, J.K. Rowling has ruined my life by releasing Pottermore information on a North American school.

Regardless of how upset I am (hint: very) that I didn’t get to go to a wizarding school for middle and high school, I am determined to embrace Ilvermorny just like eight-year-old me first embraced Hogwarts. But so far, it’s been hard to do that.

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Confessions of a High Maintenance Person

highmaintenance

I went to college at a school that had the most low-maintenance people. Like very low-maintenance. Like showing up to class required nothing more than a pair of sweats and a headband for most, and weekend going out attire consisted of flannels and maybe one coat of mascara. Sure, I could roll with the low-key vibes and pretend I didn’t miss spending a full hour playing with makeup on a Friday night, but I did. So, please enjoy the confessions of a high-maintenance person coming from yours truly.

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We Put Essie’s New Gel Couture Nail Polish Line to the Test!

EssieGel_FT

Raise your hand if you’re like me and spend way too much money on mani-pedis every other week! I was sick of spending so much time and money on getting my nails done just to have them start chipping off two days later, so I decided Essie’s new Gel Couture polish might be worth a shot! I have to admit that before I even bought the new line of polish I had pretty much already come to the conclusion that it wasn’t going to work and I would be back at the nail salon in three days. Thinking back on every other drugstore nail polish I’ve ever purchased that claimed to last more than 14 days, I couldn’t actually think of one that lasted a full day, never mind two whole weeks!

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Easy DIY Vertical Herb Garden

DIYHerbGarden_FT

I’ve never really considered myself Pinterest savvy. In fact, more times than not, my Pinterest projects turn into laughable Pinterest fails. I just accept it as part of my life now, and there is no shame in that. However, not every one of my projects I find through Pinterest fails, and I’m sure you’re wondering how. Well, the common denominator to all the successful ones is my husband.

Yeah, that’s right. He’s an engineering wizard that can help me take my Pinterest projects from fail to hell yeah in about three cuts of a table saw. This is primarily because I’m too scared, and probably too clumsy, to use a table saw on my own. So anything that involves heavy duty work like that needs an extra hand from my husband.

But have no fear! I don’t ever stop looking for cute, unique ways to flex my crafty muscles, and that’s why this super easy DIY Vertical Herb Garden is perfect for haphazard people like me!

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Our Top 5 Things to See at SDCC ’16

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Cara Delevingne at San Diego Comic-Con on July 21, 2016. (Image Credit: Blair Raughley)

Brace yourself, it’s July. You probably already knew that since hello, we’re halfway through July. Let me rephrase. Brace yourself, it’s July, AKA San Diego Comic-Con International is here. Can you believe it’s already that time of the year? Best believe So Fetch Daily will be on the floor reporting you all the latest news. Well, as much as we can, anyways. There’s always so much going on!

And with that said, here are five (Five! I know, it was hard to choose) things that we’re looking forward to seeing during this year’s Comic-Con!

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